Irrational Hunger
by The WolvGambit
Summary: The Prequel to 'Forbidden Hunger'. Read that first or this one will not make sense: AU Vampire, Her name was Vivian, a woman with soft chestnut hair and dark brown eyes. I hungered for her like my next meal, but it was not meant to be. GSR LH/OC
1. One

_Vocab: _

_Halfbreed Humans: A genetic anomaly that is very rare amongst vampire/human couples. A halfbreed human is a human with vampire DNA constructions. Two parts of a whole while the dominant and recessive traits fight one another like a disease. The body and tissues break down eventually leaving the host in agony, severe pain in the final months of the transition signal heart failure and eventually death. The genetic make up of Halfbreed Humans is often times almost always fatal; there is no known cure for the condition even though several have been researched. Only a few of the documented cases have survived._

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One

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**The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III**

_"It was the man in me I suppose that had drawn me to her that day. A woman of flesh and light, pure power and wisdom. An old soul that I could connect to. They say that I'm a pure blood, one who's never been conceived by human means. However, looking at this woman now, hair tied up in a pin and that emerald green dress, I'd have to say otherwise. Her brown eyes met mine and I was lost, the forbidden fruit calling to me like a man starved. Her name was Vivian and I hungered for her like my next meal. That was when John found me out in the garden, watching her. The council often bought slaves and used them for various tasks; most of them were half-breeds with no place to go. She, however, was human. Maybe I was drawn to her because of her life force, I have yet to know this beautiful creature, but I hope in time she will let me know her."_

XX

**London 1841  
****The Society Ballroom**

"Rhoddy would you stop staring at the poor girl she's here to serve the food. Besides she's human, what would you expect to do with her?" John Rice said from behind him, patting him on the shoulder. "You've been a vampire for a hundred years; truthfully you'd have found a suitable mate by now."

"Maybe it's not what I want, John. I can't take what they have to give because I don't want it. And technically I am ninety-eight."

John stuck out his tongue. "What about Lady Margret? She was a beautiful woman, fair and unchallenged."

"She just was using me for convenience." Vincent's face shifted into a grimace. "I was nothing but a feeding opportunity for her."

He walked to the edge of the balcony and stood leaning against the railing. The black cape hanging off his body kicked in the breeze as he turned his face up to the night sky.

"Surely you're not going to give up?" John came to stand beside him. "I mean…"

"Wouldn't you if every woman you saw of your own species did nothing for you? They were just merely people to talk to and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't come to grips with what you really wanted?" He turned back to the ballroom and watched the servant collect trays from the table. Her green dress billowing behind her.

"Vivian is human, Rhoddy."

"I know what she is, damnit." He ground out through gritted teeth. "Don't you get it? I can't have her, yet I want her so much. There is something there that calls to me and it's irrational but I want it."

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay my brother. In time you'll learn to deal with it."

"I doubt that."

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She felt his eyes on her, those glowing silver blue eyes that pierced her soul and left her numb. However, she was unafraid even though she knew he was more and less than human. Vivian knew why she was here and who she was living amongst. They did not frighten her in the least because they treated her kindly. Her father was a half-breed but she had remained human after birth it was why she was taken into the society.

Rhodock was the man that was looking at her now, a peaceful gentleman with kind eyes. She'd often find him in the tower library reading the texts on all different subjects. His quest for knowledge was insatiable. In her minds eye she'd always viewed him as a passionate lover, dedicated, thorough. But she quickly shook of those thoughts in the favor that it was not meant to be. Vincent was a pure blood and he would not find her suitable for she was only human.

On the other hand, if it wasn't meant to pass, why did his eyes on her make her feel the way she did and why was he always staring at her?

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"You know the council will frown upon this obsession of yours." He heard John say as he picked up a plate and filled it with some fruit.

"I know what the council thinks about my habits already. The way I sit alone up in the library and read to my hearts content." He huffed. "It is not my fault I am this way, but she is what I want."

"Think about this."

"You think I haven't thought about it?" Vincent spat out gruffly, his accent thickening. "I have thought about it until my head is about to explode. I can't stop it. You told me what to expect, John. Hell, I'm experiencing it now; for her and her alone. Why? Is she not human? Yes she is. But I can not stop this."

"She will grow old."

"I do not care."

"One day you will, Rhoddy, and what then? What's to become of you then."

"Only heaven knows, my dear friend. For as the sun sets, I'm sure God is watching."

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"Heavens dear child, what are you doing up in the middle of the night?" A soft voice called to her. Her head turned to see Alice, once of the chambermaids, walking towards her. "You should be in bed, Vivian."

"I find that I am too awake to sleep, dear friend." She responded softly. "So I have come here to read, I enjoy the silence and the rhythm of the rain beating against the house."

"Yes, but you come to Lord Vincent's main sanctuary as well, he is known to dwell in this very library, surely you must know that." Alice continued to chatter as she placed a thumb in the book and shut it to hold her page.

"I shall be fine, Alice. All Rhodock does when he comes up here is read just as I do. I know that it's not a trait highly regarded in women, but my mother wanted me to know and father approved."

"Knowledge is only good for certain things, dear child. You know the only reason you were brought here was because your father was one of us. Do not make any of the council members unhappy."

"I have no intentions of the sort. I am here to work in the day and sleep as the sun sets. Or at least try to get as much rest as humanly possible." Her body was rigid as she heard approaching footsteps. It was him, her body always high strung and on high alert when he was near.

His voice with that delightful English twine spun around her nerves like the finest silk, soothing her body as he spoke to Alice with a firm, yet kind, voice.

"Alice do leave the poor girl alone, she has worked very hard this day. If she wishes to read, then she may do so."

"I am sorry my Lord. I was only looking out for the best intentions." She bowed gracefully.

"It is fine, dear Alice. Please go to your chambers and rest. I shall watch after Vivian, she will be well."

"Yes, your grace." With those parting words she went under the arch and out the door, shutting it softly behind her. The tinkering of the rain continued again on the rooftops over the library. She closed her eyes and took it all in, her ears sensitive to the sounds picked them up easily, and something more was added to the mix. His breath in a steady inhale and exhale. The sound she pictured more than a thousand times in her dreams at a fevered pitch along with her own.

"Vivian?" His rumbling whisper brought her out of her haze as she turned to meet those eyes that often haunted her dreams. She tucked a strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear and smiled softly.

"Yes, your grace?"

"Please, not 'your grace'. Never to you my pet."

"Then what shall I call you if not your title. I am but a servant, nothing more. It is respect that I offer you." She bowed her head and made to stand but he was in front of her when she looked up and opened her eyes. His crisp white shirt wrinkled a bit was tucked into his brown slacks, his feet were bare and his raven hair was turning gray throughout, a signal of his transition into adulthood. He looked none of his 98 years and he was a stunning man. Tall, lean and fit; wonderfully sculpted.

"Here in this place we are but two people, two souls to the universe. Here I am not royalty or another species; I am simply a male looking upon a beautiful female." He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to his. "A male who wishes to show you the depths of the earth and beyond."

"I do not think it wise, my Lord. It is against rules and customs brought down by the council. You are a rarity amongst your species and I am but only human." She tilted her head away from his gentle grip looking around the lushly filled library. The shelves over stacked with books on just about every subject to date, books of fact and fiction, books of history and present. The solid oak cases they were housed in and the two tables in the back that had several papers scattered on the surface. A pressure brought her gaze back to his as his silver-blue eyes flashed white then back again, his face a contorted expression of pure hunger.

"I know what you are, and I know what I am. These things are irrelevant to me as the way water clings to you after you leave the bath basin." He replied smoothly. "Though this feeling for you I cannot shake. You are fire to my body, lighting me up in ways that I have never experienced before." He got closer to her. "I cannot fight it any longer."

"If you give up now, your fight will be in vain." She struggled with the words trying to move away from him as he invaded her personal space. Making it hard to breathe. "You were once with Lady Margret, why did you turn her away?"

"She was not for me." Was his soft reply as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His touch lighting up her skin. "I was merely a meal for her. Being used is not love."

"Perhaps not, but you could've had a mate." She backed away from him and sidestepped his frame to return her book.

"It would have been empty. I do not wish to spend my life empty, Vivian." He was still facing where he stood. "I know you feel it too."

"I need sleep, and you should be sleeping soon. You are awake too often." Vivian watched as he faced her again, his gaze solemn. "When was the last time you fed?"

"Two years ago, Margret's last visit to shore." He stated without feeling. "I have no desire to feed from any female…" His eyes turned to hers. "My heart beats, and my hunger is only for you."

"I will be leaving soon, Vincent. The council has promised me passage since is it my second year of service. You will be free of your hunger."

"That is where you are most decidedly wrong my sweet girl." He grasped her wrist gently, closing his fingers around snugly and pulling her towards him once more. "I shall never forget the hunger I have for you and I know you have the same hunger in your soul begging to be free."

"Good night, your grace." Her voice was soft as she slipped free of his grasp and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

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Her body was still alive with heated fire as she made her way silently down the hall to her quarters in the silence of early morning. A door opened and she saw Lady Marie come out of Lord Jonathan's room. Her nightdress billowing behind her along with her robe.

"Ah, Vivian…what brings you out here in the middle of the night?" Came her soft voice, calm and vibrant she walked towards her.

"Was coming from the library, my Lady. Is there something I could do for you?"

"Oh no dear child, not at all. I hear that dear Vincent has taken an interest in you." Was her whispered reply. "I wouldn't be weary of him, he's a kind male."

"But I am human, Lady Marie. It is forbidden."

"Only if the council knows. Vincent is not a normal man, not by any means. But he is more honorable than one. Treasure his interest in you, do not waste it."

"Yes, my lady."

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His body hummed and his fangs ached. John was right about the hunger, it did consume you. The time without feeding caused him more trouble since the pain doubled and his body trembled with the force. He was lucky he made it to his room before he keeled over in the hallway. Dawn was approaching; he could tell by the way his body was preparing for sleep. However, with every single nerve ending responding to her presence it was going to be a fairly difficult task to get to sleep.

She had been right about her two years service, and he'd felt every single one of those days grating on his taxed body. He remembered when he first saw her out in the garden, her elegant hands tending to the roses; her thumb pricked by a thorn. The smell of her blood was crisp and heady, a mixture of strength and passion. He so wanted to make himself known at that time but decided against it. Vincent could picture it in his minds eye just as clearly as if it happened yesterday.

The sun reflecting her dark curls casting her face into shadow, the smudges of dirt on her pale blue gown; even the simple way that she brought her gloved hand to wipe away the sweat that accumulated on her brow. She had removed the glove to test the weight of the flower she was going to cut and use.

His body arched upward as he groaned in pain and pleasure alike. The fisting heat like a coal burning engine that kept getting hotter to the touch. Fangs punching through their housings as he swiveled his hips with a hiss. It was clear to him in that very moment that he had found his mate and no one, not even the council was going to tell him otherwise.

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"She is human, Marie. Honestly you know the repercussions if the council were to find out? How could you feed her false hope?" John paced the space in front of the bed as his bride to be lay before him in her crisp lavender evening gown.

"It was not false hope, John. Surely you must know the chemistry between dear Vincent and young Vivian? How is love wrong? You, yourself, have your own sins for the council. My origins being one of them. Not even your brother knows about where I really came from." She sighed softly. "He needs happiness just as much as the next man, who am I to deny him that…deny her."

"She will grow old, eventually die." He sighed. "A human's life is at least one sixth of ours. I'd hate to hypothesize what the loss would do to him if they were ever bled."

For a moment he paused and looked at her form, her eyes calming him as she spoke. "Surely you must feel it between them? He's already chosen her, my love. She was his the moment he first set eyes on her, just as I was to you."

"The power?"

"The meeting of two souls that are meant to become one." He sat beside her as she continued. "The spirits have spoken and no one, not even the council, can interfere. Not with Vincent, he's one of the only pure bloods still in existence."


	2. Two

**_A/N: So I decided to post just a bit early, I have up to the middle of chapter 5 written and almost to chapter 6. I hope you enjoy this next installment and remember that this story is the Prequel to Forbidden Hunger and you should read that one first. Also note that this story is going to fall into the heavy ANGST category. _**

**_WG_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._**

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Two

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**The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III**

_"The council speaks so little of me these days, in perfect honesty I do not mind. I seldom listen to the rules and regulations of the so few. They tell me to speak out, but when I do I am never heard. So my trials are all in vain. _

_My mind often goes back to the beautiful brown-haired beauty, the continuous object of my thoughts these past few months. From the glow in her luscious brown eyes, to the beautiful smile with a pleasant gap between her front teeth that leaves me breathless. When I think of her my worries rest and I am at peace. However, I am also bound with this insatiable hunger that cannot be filled. It constantly rules my body and leaves me to irrational acts that I do not normally do. John tells me that I need to move on, but I fear I cannot. She is the one I've been looking for and I'll be damned if I let anyone tell me otherwise, even the man by respect and honor that I call my brother."_

XX

Vivian's mind was running a mile a minute filled with thoughts and dreams that made her body spiral out of control with need. In all her years she never disobeyed her honor and pleasured herself, but the image of Vincent was beginning to take it's toll. Sitting there in her metal basin taking her bath, her mind ran with each little detail that was the man she'd come to know.

She remembered the first time she saw him, the image crystal clear as if he stood in front of her. That shy smile and the twinkle in those unnatural colored eyes. The white flash that was there and gone in the blink of an eye, the way that his pressed dress shirt clung to his frame and was tucked into his brown trousers. His hair was raven black, but it was starting to turn gray. He was two years away from 100 and soon he'd no longer be a fledgling, but an adult.

In essence, he already seemed well beyond his years with knowledge and a mind that she'd only dreamed of having. She'd caught him reciting poetry from one of Shakespeare's texts. The words flowing off his tongue like the finest silk being spun on the loom. As his eyes met hers, she froze standing there caught up in his gaze, his posture spoke of grace and all at once the urge to climb into his lap as he sat in the dining chair was overwhelming. His smile captured her as she started to turn away. The fire still burning in her veins as she made her way outside into the cool evening air.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she made her way out of the basin and grabbed the bath sheet next to her drying her body and settling it on the hook beside the window. Tired, she let her hair down and climbed into bed, hoping her body would give in and she could sate her need for sleep without dreams of the man she could never have.

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The kitchen was quiet as he made his way downstairs for the evening. Sometimes the quiet bothered him because of how he could hear his thoughts run wild. Bending into a cupboard, he pulled out a few things and made himself a snack. A book sat on the small table, the cover well worn and the pages seemingly off-color.

He picked up the book only to have it taken from his hands and his blue eyes met the brown ones of the woman who'd been occupying his thoughts these past few weeks.

"I wish you not to touch my things if you please." She said quietly, holding the book to her chest.

"You need not fear me." He replied to her form retreating from him.

"I am not afraid."

"Then what is it that makes you back away from me?"

"Your presence overwhelms me." After the words escaped her lips she pushed her hand to her mouth to cover it as if wishing for the words to go back in and stay there. "I am sorry."

"You have every right to tell me how you feel, Vivian. You need not hide from me."

"No, it is not my place to do so." She bowed her head and made to exit. He let her go, Vincent did not want to smother her, the more he did the more she would back away from him and stay away indefinitely. He set his dishes to the side for the maid to take care of and then walked outside into the blustery night air. Most times the cold did not phase him, that hard chill that rushes through the body and pierces the skin. It was then that he saw her once again curled up on a bench underneath an abandoned gazebo.

"Vivian, what are you doing out here? It is inexplicably cold, you could catch your death."

"The sky is beautiful in the winter when the full moon casts a soft white glow to the frozen ground beneath it. It's interesting to see the frost form in the lighting shadows. Wonders are to be forever seen here, so many of them in fact." She smiled for the first time in a while. "I could ask the same about you, my Lord. What brings you out into the cold?"

"Air. Being cooped up in that dreadful place all day can drive a person mad."

"Indeed." Her smile faltered. "John has been searching for you."

"Ah. I shall not keep him waiting then. Do go inside soon, I could not bare if you fell ill."

Her nod was brief as she watched him turn into the house and she looked up in the sky once more. "If only you knew how much of it was true. That is why we cannot be."

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Vincent entered the library and sighed as he saw John sitting at his desk and in his chair.

"Miss Ross said you asked for my presence?" He shifted his weight from foot to foot staring down at him.

"Yes, I have my brother. I have some news about Vivian that I feel you need to know."

"If it's about her passage soon then we already discussed it. I also understand that you don't approve of where I'm going to be sending most of my attentions."

"I do not disapprove anymore, Rhoddy. I had a very wise woman tell me that love transcends everything, even species barriers and rules. She was right. Lady Marie isn't a part of this society, I kept it from you because I was afraid of what you might think of me. I've been preaching dead words and contradicting myself when I am doing the same thing except my bride to be is of the same species."

"John."

"No, Vincent let me finish. Vivian will eventually leave you not by her own will. Are you ready for that? Are you ready to be devoted to someone who will not live as long as you? Are you ready for the heartache you will face when she leaves you behind? Are you ready to bear that sorrow?"

"If I were not certain, I would not have chose her." He plopped into the chair beside him. "I know that we were meant to be the moment I laid eyes on her. But the society can't know what I plan to do."

"They will not for they never knew about Marie." He smiled. "I want you to be as happy as I am if not happier."

"That means a lot to me, John."

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The room was lit by candle light. Soft orange wisps of light that reflected off the grayish tinted walls coated with speckles of blood. Bodies lined the floor as a man crossed the main chamber, heads in a pile in the corner decaying slowly. Maggots crawling out of the eye sockets. Bodies in the other corner. Bones littering the space around them.

The man in question approached a solitary alter in the back, a man in a thick robe turned to greet him. "You have come with news?"

"No, I fear not. They are hiding again and we do not have the resources to locate them."

"Damnit. They are getting quicker at figuring out our patterns." The cloaked man sighed. "Where does this leave us?"

"There are no other places I can think to look, sire. Whatever base they had here is clearly gone. You have hunted them out of their mansion and they clearly are not going to ever make themselves known."

"You are failing me and I haven't the patience for it." He pulled the dagger from his belt and twirled it in his hands. "We have work to do."

"Yes, sire. Shall I fetch the books?"

"Yes and meet me in my chambers. The stench of rotting flesh is making me ill."

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"Vincent, you have responsibilities to uphold for this council. Surely you must know that at your one-hundredth birthday you are to be bled and lead the council in my place?"

Vincent just sighed and looked around the room. The chamber had ten chairs and the headmaster was sitting beside him as he continued to prattle on about the council and his duties. He didn't really care, why couldn't they just accept him for who he was and let him live his life? The room was bathed by the lit candelabra in the center of the table, it's flaring light keeping the other parts of the room in shadow. He was brought out of his thoughts by the leader speaking once again.

"Do you not care, Vincent?"

"I care, sire. But I really do not wish for this to be my life. I cannot find a suitable mate within this place."

"Yes, I've caught you eyeing Vivian Ross. She is mortal Vincent. Do not engage with a relationship with her. You know the laws and you will obey."

"I cannot obey, not when I am feeling everything I was told I was going to feel when the time was right."

"She is human, my son." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "You are more than she will ever be, you will live for centuries watching the world change and never will you grow old. She is in her mid thirties, she will only have at least twenty to thirty more years left to live. Human life is so unpredictable."

"I do not care."

"You will when you mourn her loss so terribly that you forget her."

"Edgar."

"No, I will not let you trouble yourself with her. You are forbidden, and you know it. Pure bloods do not seek human company."

"Then I must not be one for I seek hers. I want so much more than her company, sire. She is the one that will grant me happiness, are you to deny me what I need?"

"Yes."

"So be it, when she leaves I am with her."

"You cannot go, you have…"

"The responsibilities are not within my control. I am no leader, Edgar Weignburgh and you know that for a fact. The council can't even see fit to let me have a mate of my choosing. Ever since my mother died it's been about rules. She just wanted me to be happy, why can't you do the same?"

"We are not her, we are looking out for the good of the species while most of the human race hunts us and tries to wipe us to extinction. You are one of the very few whom actually has a level bloodline. Why would you condemn us just for your happiness that will be so very short-lived?"

_" 'To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,  
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,  
To the last syllable of recorded time;  
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools  
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!  
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,  
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,  
And then is heard no more. It is a tale  
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
Signifying nothing.' " (1)_

Edgar looked at him strangely as the quote fell from his lips as if he were the man who wrote it. Patiently he waited for Vincent to explain and finally he took his cue and spoke again.

"Shakespeare's _Macbeth Act _five, scene five." Was all he said as he walked through the archway and into the hallway.

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John was unaware as to why there was a very unpleasant look on his friends face. His posture was ridged, his eyes were silver, and his fangs were completely elongated.

"You told him didn't you?" He hissed at him. "What happened to all of that talk about my happiness?"

"Edgar? I told him nothing, he must've figured it out on his own on the account that you're always watching her. He is not blind you know." John sighed. "Look, he wants you to be his replacement. I can't help you there."

"I do not wish to replace him when all he really wants me to do is procreate and not think about my happiness. My needs, the hunger that dwells below the surface. The ritual has begun, for a human no less, but it's still there and I cannot stop it."

John placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, my brother, I know. It's a big feeling, a strong feeling that you cannot fight and it doesn't matter who wishes to stand in your way. If Vivian will have you, you both will belong to each other. Besides have you ever considered prolonging her life by the drinking of your blood?"

"I could not risk it, there is too much at stake to do that. There will be no talk of such things."

"I see. Well do get some rest and come see me after dark."

"I cannot sleep with this hunger running through my veins."

"When have you fed?"

"I haven't, not for at least two years." He hung his head.

John's eyes almost popped out of his head at that declaration. "Since Lady Margret? My God man are you trying to commit suicide?"

"There is no one I wish to feed from."

"I'll get Marie." Vincent grasped a firm hand around his wrist.

"No. I will not take from your mate. It is improper."

"Fuck improper, Vince. Damnit you are stubborn."

"I will not soil her or myself and dishonor my vow. I want Vivian." He hung his head again. "I cannot find it in myself to feed from another."

"Fine." John sighed distressed. "But you better be careful."

"Of course."

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"Vivian my dear, how are you?"

"I do not know." She embraced the elderly man and sighed softly. "I fear that my time may be getting shorter."

She watched his breath heave out in a restrained sigh as he gripped the cane that held him upright and started walking over to his chair.

"Is there any pain?" He asked her. "If there is pain, then your body is not going to last much longer."

"No." She replied honestly. "I'm just more tired than usual and I get dizzy spells occasionally."

"I see." He replaced his glasses on his face and grabbed his stethoscope. "Let's have a listen."

"What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

"It's not uncommon in the human halfbreeds I treat. Your body is turning on itself because you are two different species in one but your other side is fighting for a dominance it will not win. So your cells are dying one by one."

"How long?"

"It is unclear. When you start to feel pain, it will be at least a few months before your heart finally gives out." He pulled the stethoscope away from her and sighed. "I'd say you have at least a year."

Her eyes filled with tears at the words that fell from his lips. "A year?"

"I am sorry but there is nothing I can do." He shook his head. "I am still looking for a cure and I have come up empty."

She hugged him. "Thank you Albert, for all of your kindness."

"It is not a problem."

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She seemed more melancholy than usual. Her posture was lucid and she seemed to be stumbling over her own two feet. It was odd and he needed to understand the cause. That was when she almost fell to the ground face first and he caught her just in time.

"Vivian are you alright?"

"I do not know." She shook her head and turned her gaze away from him. "Please, leave me."

"I will not, you need someone to watch over you."

"Vincent."

"I will not leave you. You are stuck with me."

_I will not let you pull me in. I cannot._ Her eyes misted over and she blinked the tears away as he lifted her into his embrace and started carrying her off to what she knew were her chambers. She felt the mattress underneath her body as he settled her on it easily. Vivian then watched as he turned to light the fire and come to lie beside her.

"You are not well…" He sighed taking in her scent. "I can smell it on you."

"I do not want to talk about it. You need to leave."

"Tell me why I bother you so?"

"Because I cannot have you!" She shouted at him while turning to face him. "You torment me and tease me. You have for the past two years of my service. Yet you are not for me. You cannot be. Why can't you just follow your…"

He silenced her with his fingertips against her lips and sighed. "I am leaving with you when you go. The council does not own me and I do not care. I would be banished by my one-hundredth birthday anyway because of my refusal to marry. I crave you, Vivian. Heart, mind, body, and soul."

"I…"

That was all she got out before his lips came crashing down on her own…

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(1) Macbeth Act 5, Scene 5


	3. Three

**A/N: So here is the next installment. Hopefully I'll have more soon but I'm going to continue my writing until I get to at least seven before I post again. I like to be a few steps ahead. **

**WG**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...**

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Three

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**The Diary of Vivian Ross**

_"His kiss will be something I shall remember until my last breath. That ever quickening pace of lips and tongue, hidden meanings I'll never know, and the weight of his body pressed against mine. Oh how I wish I was not dying, just merely elated and floating away from the wonderful man that was just in my arms. I feel betrayed by the spirits I have answered to for the longest time. Alas, I cannot have what has been placed before me, ready and willing to give me every part of himself. I'll always remember the feel of his soft curly locks between my finger tips, the heat of his mouth over mine, the strength in his body. I have denied my feelings for so long, but now I will not. Not here, not in these pages that shall never see light. I love Vincent Rhodock, I ache for him, but I cannot have him." _

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She kept telling herself to pull away, kept telling herself to stick to her plan; but no matter how many times she tried she could not get away. Vincent had her hooked to him; he was an addiction with his graying locks and muscular frame. In her heart and soul she could no longer deny him anything he wanted; she could no longer deny herself of what she wanted.

His lips were soft, hot, and wet against hers. His tongue coming out to part her lips and mate with her own tongue. The texture and taste of him was unbelievable. A combination of flavors so uniquely him that she swooned and felt herself shiver. Her mind raced as he deepened the kiss, twirling his tongue around hers and guiding it inside his mouth to gently suckle on. The feeling sent pulses of heat straight down to her groin as she felt him roll her beneath his body.

His weight on top of her and the heft of his arousal pressing between her legs against her heat brought her back to reality as she disengaged the kiss and pushed him off of her. Shakily, she moved away from him and into the chair in front of her desk in the corner and sat in it, pulling her knees to her chest and placing her chin on top of her folded legs.

"Vivian?"

"You have to go." Tears started to come unbidden down her cheeks, unable to stop them. "Please."

"Why? What is wrong?"

"Please do not make me do this. I cannot give you what you need." She turned her head away from him. "I will not last."

"I do not care." He came forward and bent down so that he was eye level with her. "I want to be with you as long as I can."

"I can't be with you, it would break you."

"I will be the judge of that."

"You're being irrational."

"Love is hardly rational my dear. Love is between spaces and has no true meaning. It transcends everything we beings hold dear. Is me needing you so bad? Wanting you so bad?"

"YES! I am not allowed to be happy! All my life bad things have happened to me and I will not have my life tarnished by any more."

She watched as his eyes flashed at her words and he stood. "Very well, if I so tarnish you that badly I will leave."

His hiss of displeasure was loud and filled the room with its volume. His eyes flashed once more as a pair of ivory fangs jutted out from underneath his upper lip and instead of the view scaring her it made her want him all the more.

"Is it because of what I am?"

"No."

"Do I sicken you?"

"No." She turned away. "Just go."

"FINE!" He roared and stalked out the door slamming behind her. It was the first time she'd ever seen him lose his temper. Vivian buried her face between her knees and let out a keening wail. Her soul protesting to his loss but it was for the best. If she gave into him, she'd break both of them.

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He willed his body to calm down as it screamed in protest. It was becoming more and more difficult to control, especially because he'd played with something dangerous and tasted her for the first time. That hot, sweet, wet warmth of her mouth and the deep plunges of her tongue meeting his had him hard to the point of pain. Yet she still denied herself what he was offering her fully.

Vincent could smell the arousal on her, smell it thickening as he touched her, caressed her. It was so thick in the air he could taste it as it mixed with his own smoky fragrance. He was trying to mark her, god he wished the floor would open and swallow him whole.

Those animal instincts that rested just below the surface had been stirred when faced with both her strange behavior and her arousal causing him to lash out at the only woman he'd ever known to make him feel this way. He wanted to go back and apologize for his outburst but he feared that it would be a mistake to go back for two reasons. One being that if he went near her in this state he'd wind up claiming her and two she would fear him if she hadn't done so already.

Letting his body hit the mattress hard, he sighed and flopped down opening his trousers and fisting himself. It was the only way he'd get any sleep and he was in too deep to be ashamed of his actions.

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She finally managed to slow her tears as she pulled the covers around her body after stripping off her garments and replacing them with her evening gown. In her soul she wanted so much to go and apologize to him and tell him the situation. However, she didn't want his pity…it was what she got from most people and she didn't want it from him. Her genetic disease was a rarity amongst halfbreed's, but since she took on more human characteristics, it was her curse.

Vivian wanted him like he wanted her, yet she denied it so it wouldn't hurt so badly when her body finally gave out. Though sometimes she doubted herself as to why she kept him at a distance. Was it really for his benefit or even for her own? Wasn't she hurting more now than she would be if she gave in? Would he?

Shaking her head she cleared it of those thoughts and settled it on the pillow slowly closing her eyes. She couldn't think like that now, not when she was so close to the ride out of the London home and to somewhere more quiet and less complicated as she lived out her final days.

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It was fairly evident that the day would have to pass so quickly into night. She'd been slowly collecting her belongings in order to pack them away for her move. Tonight, she decided, she was going to go to bed on time and avoid Vincent, it would make things easier. Little did she know that her plans were going to be put on a permanent hold.

He was looking for her, she knew. All day and all night, aware of that boundary, that single line that separated them. It was more than she could bear as she looked around her room. The silence deafening as she plucked her notebook from in between the mattress and the crisscrossed roping underneath.

The journal was well worn and leather bound. The pages had small sketches and entries to go along with it. Each of them told a part of her life, and even more so frequently her life in the society and her obsession with Vincent Rhodock.

Opening to a page, she saw the portrait she drew of him on the off-white sheet and smiled slightly at the image it presented. She was out on the terrace that day, looking out into the moonlight as the sun had finally set. He was sitting in a wooden chair facing her direction but not noticing her presence. Even now she felt the heat rise in her body as she remembered every stroke of the pencil as it traced along the paper. Every detail she shaded until it was a perfect likeness of the man.

Sighing, she traced her fingers down the page and closed the book heavily. The dull thump echoed through the empty space and she just wanted to weep at the unfairness of it all, but she would not cry. She would face her fate with open eyes and live out the rest of her life without worry. She wrapped the journal in a cloth and put it back in its original resting place. Vivian decided that she'd give it to Vincent on her departure and she hoped that by the time he decided to read it that he'd never find her. It wouldn't be fair.

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"Ah Vivian, what a pleasant surprise." Edgar smiled at her as she approached him. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"When is my approval for leave going to be granted?" She asked straight to the point. "I need to be free of this place, my time here is limited and I do not wish to live the rest of my life behind these walls without having traveled."

He caught the strange look in her eyes and he motioned for her to have a seat. His face was calm, his green eyes soft and understanding. "What troubles you my child?"

"I am dying, Edgar. Even now as we sit here in this room my time goes short. Doctor Robbins could only do so much for me in the early stages, but I fear that it has been for naught. I have the disease that human halfbreeds receive after their twentieth year. I have survived longer than most, but I do not have much longer." She looked him in the eye as he visibly started to try and comfort her, but she put her hand up in response. "Please, I do not want your pity. I have seen enough of it from several people that do not even know what I've been through. You, my dear friend, are one of them. I just want to be normal for once, not they dying woman everybody wants to comfort."

"I understand." He then bowed his head. "I respect your wishes and I fully respect your bravery."

"Over seventeen years of being like this will make you brave." She huffed. "How much longer?"

"Within the month. You still have a couple weeks of service left before you have hit your second season. You will have everything you need then." A thought then struck Edgar. "Have you told Vincent of your illness?"

"No. I do not want him to know, not yet. He will know after I leave." Vivian made to stand. "I know you know of us at one time, we were around each other but it wasn't more than a few helping gestures."

"He is interested in you."

"I know, but I deny him for his sake and mine." She shook her head. "I learned from both of my parents that vampire males are very possessive and territorial. He would not survive my loss mentally."

"Within the month you will be free. And for what it's worth, seeing Vincent willing to sacrifice his sanity for you, you would have my blessing even though the interaction has been forbidden for many centuries."

"Goodnight your highness."

"Goodnight Vivian."

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He'd been looking everywhere for her and finally he'd spotted her in the main reading area on the ground floor. Her lovely dark locks were down for once and she was wearing…trousers? A pair of oversized trousers with a soft white dress shirt. The black material of the trousers were hemmed on either side to accommodate her slight frame and he recognized them as his. The black pair he'd been looking for, for months. His favorite black pair that she'd taken to laundry and said they'd gotten lost.

Vincent's body sprung to life as his fangs jutted out quickly, his breath came in ragged pants and his body hardened ready to mate. It only made his breath hitch in a rush when he realized that his scent covered the garments, she'd never washed them. Why did she torment him so? Claiming not to want him when clearly she did; his clothing on her body a testament to that fact.

Clearing his throat he watched as she turned to face him then started to get up. "Those are my clothes, Vivian."

"I am aware of that." She replied softly. "I will fix them and return them to you."

"Oh, I am not mad my sweet. Clearly stunned. You deny yourself the pleasure I wish to give you, yet you mark yourself as my property. Why do you toy with me?" He got closer and she backed up.

"I'm not toying with you." She pleaded with her eyes for him to let her leave but it was too late, she was pinned against his body and the wall behind her. There was no escape, yet.

His fingertips traced down her face with gentle strokes, the touches igniting her body and setting it aflame. Fire coursing through her veins and pumping all the way down to her groin. She felt herself grow heated, wet, and swollen. Noticed his eyes flash and his nose expand as he took in her scent.

"You want me." It was a statement, not a question.

"My lord…"

"Do not lie to me, don't you dare." He pressed close to her. "I can smell you and you know I can. And I know that you can smell me."

"I do want you." She let out slowly. "But it is not…"

His lips silenced her, his hands tangled in her hair as he pressed her body to his. His tongue mated with hers, danced and retreated. He nipped her lips with his fangs and soothed them with his tongue.

Even as he was possessive with her, he was very gentle. The way that he swept her off her feet was breath taking and she felt giddy and alive. His mouth was hot, wet, and tasted of coffee with a hit of brandy. The flavors mixing together with his taste making her dizzy as she felt her feet lifted from the floor wrapping around his waist. His heavy arousal pressing against her as he bucked wildly.

"Sweet Vivian, can't you feel how much I desire you?" He asked on a growl as he tore his lips from hers. "I ache for you and nothing can stop it."

"Please…"

"What do you want?" He brushed the hair from her eyes and met them with his silver ones. "What do you need? What do you desire?"

"Don't do this…just let me go."

"What are you hiding from me?"

"It's none of your business." She responded, the heat in her eyes matching his. "I don't have to tell you Vincent, now put me down."

"No. What are you hiding?"

"I'm dying…"


	4. Four

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...**

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Four

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**The Journal of Vivian Ross**

_"I really regret blurting it out that night but it was inevitable. I've learned when he is interested in the information he is going to get it no matter what. The phrase "I'm dying" just passed my lips and his eyes settled on mine before he uttered four simple words that changed my life forever."_

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"I'm dying…" She blurted then turned away and bit her lip, leaving him to process the information she presented. If admitting her problem would get him to leave her alone, then so be it. However, it had just the opposite effect. His fingers graced just beneath her chin and turned her eyes back to face his. Fingertips brushing away tears she wasn't even aware she was crying. The moment seemed too surreal to be true and she wished she'd wake up.

It was in that moment when two souls became one, not physical intimacy, but spiritual intimacy. The link across voids of time and space that held no bounds. A link that many spoke of but only so few were able to experience for themselves. Such a thing was happening in that moment and both were powerless to stop it. That's when he uttered the words that would change her life forever.

"I do not care." And his lips came down on hers…

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"Honestly sire we've been walking for hours, where are we going?"

The sun had set hours ago, the path they were walking eroded by heavy flooding and the mud squelched underneath their shoes. There was a beat up shack in the distance, the wood seemingly rotting and decaying right before their eyes.

"You lack patience, please stop complaining. This, my friend, is exactly where we are going to be for the next twenty-four hours. I have a feeling the authorities will be looking for us." He huffed. "However, this will not stop my plans, it's just a minor set back."

The inside of the shack was worse than the outside, the smell putrid as mold and mildew lined the walls and furniture. The floor had deep holes in it leading down to a cellar. A fall from that height would most likely kill you from either the hardness of the ground or if it was flooded, sinking into and drowning in the mud below.

"Is it safe here?"

"From the authorities, yes. For health purposes, hardly…but we have to make do with what we have." He threw his cloak on one of the tables. "You still have the map?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then let's get to work."

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They were moving, she felt it as the air shifted past her in quick bursts, felt the jarring as he made his way up the stairs and beyond. She was certain he was taking her to his room. A strong smoky scent surrounded them and she realized it was him. He was going to mark her, Lord in heaven she'd heard her mother talk about it. Their scent was a warning to ward off other males seeking female company. A warning that if they touched what was theirs they'd hunt and kill. The very thought sent shivers down her spine. Become his mate? God what were they doing?

"Vincent."

"Shh…I'm going to take care of you my dear. You need not worry. Everything dies, it is the inevitable, but I want you whether you are dying or not. Of course the knowledge is painful, but I will only bear it if you are with me."

"I don't want pity."

"This is not pity. Do you find it so hard to believe that I love you?"

"Yes, you are insane to love a dying woman. I have not the time to love you the way you should be. I cannot be with you for the rest of your life. Love is a commitment and I am going to a place that you won't be able to follow. By being with you now, it wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"It would be unfair not to love you. You're a woman hardened by a life of pain, why won't you let me ease you? Your parents died at such a young age, you lived with relatives for a while, and then the council brought you here."

"My father was a half-breed."

His eyes flashed. "That's why you smell different, smell so sweet…" He inhaled. "But you also carry your sickness."

She sighed. "Vincent, this is pointless."

"Love is never pointless, it just is. Birth, life, love, and death. Things that you can always count on to have meaning. However skewed."

"I wish I could share your hope, but I am leaving and you are staying here."

"That is where you are wrong." He kissed her long, hard, and hungrily. His passion consumed her as he kicked open his door and shut it closed behind them with his foot. With grace she never even knew he had, he spun them around and pressed her into it so he could lock it for their privacy.

"Heaven knows I shouldn't be doing this here, but I do not want it to be cheapened by taking you somewhere else."

"I shouldn't be doing this at all…" She huffed as his lips reclaimed hers and she was powerless to fight it. The heat between them was so powerful that it clouded her mind and let her instincts take over. She felt as he lowered them to the bed, the frame creaking with the added weight, groaning in protest as he scooted them backwards.

"Let me make love to you…please bear my scent, be mine…" He growled low as his fangs teased her neck. "So beautiful…"

Her mind raced as he uttered those words, she knew she shouldn't, but it was useless to fight the hunger calling out to him from within her. It was unfair and cruel how her body and soul betrayed her mind. The logical facts of why went out the window as his hands caressed her body and found purchase on her hips, slowly grinding in circles against her heated flesh. His erection, solid as steel, hot as iron, rested on the soft material of the trousers she'd borrowed right in the soaked heat of her mound pushing against her clit with delicious friction. Her fingers fisted in his hair as he continued the long slow arches into her, his rhythm never varied, never straying.

"Oh Vivian, let me look upon your flesh, let me make you feel as I do." His fingers bunched the cloth at her waist and started to pull it upward, but her fingers stopped him in his tracks.

"Will you regret this?"

"Never." His eyes glittered. "How could I?"

"You'd find a way I suppose."

"Just let me take care of you. I know that you always are so independent, but when was the last time you allowed anyone to care for you?"

"My parents and Edgar, but no one in a romantic sense. I haven't had the need to seek it out…" She paused for a brief moment, connecting her eyes with his. "Until you…"

His growl was soft as he continued to pull the shirt up and over her head, looking down upon her naked flesh with a heated gaze. She made to cover herself against his scrutiny but he caught her hands before she could.

"Do not hide from me, my sweet." He nuzzled against one of her nipples with his nose. The friction causing her to sigh softly as he released her hands to ease them under her body and hold her to him. "Have you ever been worshiped?"

"No…"

"You've never been touched?" He smiled lightly. "Oh, I will show you many things to enjoy."

His face descended back down to her chest as he rubbed his lightly stubbled cheek against her dark pink areola. The sensation made her wail lightly as she arched into his touch…soon it was replaced by his mouth, the warm wet cavern gently suckling and drawing it up nipping it with his teeth. Her body writhed beneath his, grinding into his groin, his fangs popping backwards and forth over the tight buds.

"GOD!" She huffed out on a ragged exhale. "Please don't stop."

"I'm not going to, don't worry." He switched breasts and laved attention on the other one before rising again and connecting his lips with hers. Deep and sensual, slow and hard, he stimulated her in ways she never knew were possible. Her body quaked with aftershocks as he gently rubbed himself between her thighs. He pulled his own shirt free of his trousers and up over his head. Needing to feel her bare skin on his, flesh to flesh.

His brow was covered in sweat as he eased down on top of her; the spare droplets falling to her chest as he heaved a breath in and out. "I want to know…"

"What sweetheart?" He asked as he pushed some hair away from her face, the soft smooth curls sticking here and there due to the moisture coating her own brow.

"What they talk about, how it feels to be completely consumed by someone."

"I know what you mean and I'm in the same place as you are, honey." He whispered as he trailed down her body with kisses, the sweet fragrance she was throwing off called to him as he gently untied the trousers she wore and drug them down her legs. His eyes immediately flashed upwards as he watched her close and draw her legs up, hiding her sex from his view.

Vincent breathed deeply, her arousal thick and musty like honey and cinnamon; he wanted to taste her. He wanted to take that thick mixture down his throat again and again. Experience the beauty of it all. Unashamed in his nudity, he quickly shed his pants and joined her on the bed, his heavy arousal jutting from the space between his legs. He eased beside her, pulling her close and kissing her sweetly.

"I want to taste you, Vivian." His hand trailed down her body to the soft brown curls between her thighs. Her moan was like music to his ears and he answered with his own rumbling purr when he felt how wet she was for him. How consumed and hungry she was. "Would you like me to?"

"I need…" She panted as he traced over her clit softly and then dipped back down to collect the moisture gathering around her opening then back up to coat the erectile tissue again.

"I know what you need, relax sweetheart. I'll take care of you." He sighed as he spread her gently and moved down lower. Kissing her belly, and gently teasing her skin with his tongue. As he made it to the soft place between her thighs he inhaled deeply and let out a slow breath, teasing her folds and hearing her gasp. He was transfixed, rooted to the spot as he watched her rise up off the bed in a slow arch, perfectly formed and attuned seeking out the pleasure only he could give her.

"I feel so honored to look upon you this way, so deeply moved that you'd allow the animal in me to get this close to you."

She looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair. "If you're an animal in nature then so am I because I know I'd never act this way with any other man."

"No other male would dare get close to you now." He growled low in his throat. "I'd kill any male who tried."

The vision he'd presented should've turned her off, but all it did was heat her body further. "Please…"

He eased into her slowly, taking his time nipping at the inside of her thighs and kissing the skin slowly and sweetly. As he finally got close to her center and took the first deep taste of her, he felt overwhelmed. The heady combination rolled across his tongue and his eyes rolled back into his head a she shut his eyes and moaned low and loud into the otherwise quiet room. He had to have more of her.

Vincent licked her from opening to the underside of her clit his mouth closing over the tiny bud and suckling gently rolling his tongue around as she continued to try and find a rhythm. He placed a hand on either side of her hips to hold her gently in place as he continued his ministrations.

"My god you taste like heaven." He growled against her skin, the tiny shockwaves traveling up her spine and causing her to orgasm quickly.

"Vince!" She moaned her head rolling from side to side on the pillow beneath her head. "Please…I need you so badly."

"I'm here with you." He licked his lips dazedly, savoring her taste as he climbed up the bed to be even with her gaze. "There is something else you want isn't here?"

Her crimson blush was a beautiful site as it spread across her skin, her face turned as she asked the question. "I was wondering if I could touch you."

"Look at me…" Her eyes connected with his on command. "You need not ask; I am for you as you are for me. Touch me however you wish."

With those words her hands traced his broad chest, feeling the smooth, wet skin underneath her palms. Heat radiated off of him like a furnace as she continued to explore each muscle, each vein, and each detail. He moaned when she traced a nipple with her fingertip, he hissed when she took it between her lips and suckled, growled when she traced her hand across his lower belly and was so close to his groin she almost touched it.

After her gentle exploration he needed her to know it was okay to go further. Vincent took her hand gently in his and brought it to his groin, their hands clasped around his heated length as it jumped in response.

"Go ahead, Vivian." He pleaded with her. "Do what feels natural."

She let go of him and placed a hand between her legs, his eyes widened in response to her actions as her slickened palm came into contact with his shaft. He couldn't stop the hiss and the heavy thrust that followed as he moved within her loose grip. His hand clasped around hers once more, tightening the grip to the perfect pressure. He increased speed and then let her hand go as she caught on to how he loved it.

"Oh yes, just like that…" He leaned back and pumped up into her grip, his body on fire as he came with a bursting gush, his orgasm hard and long, but as he came down he was still ready for her.

"You're…"

"Yes, I want to come inside you. I want to be with you…tell me if it is not what you want." His eyes me hers glowing against the dimly lit room. "Tell me now before I'm unable to stop."

It didn't take her long to think of her answer, the way he'd made her feel was going to be nothing compared to him making love to her. So her answer was simple.

"Yes."


	5. Five

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

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Five

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**The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III**

_"I'll never forget the way she felt in my arms. How hot, wet, and tight she was. She fit me like a glove, perfectly shaped, and as beautiful as the sunset on a winter night. The breath rushed from my lungs as I entered her and I swear it was like coming home again. I might not survive this, but right now I do not care. She is my world in this moment, and I know nothing else will ever be the same."_

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He was on top of her in an instant, her curves taking in his angles, wielding to him as her legs came up around to lock about his waist. She was hot, so very hot that he couldn't control himself as he dragged his fangs up her neck in response. A slow, smooth motion that left her breathless.

"Please." She begged, not knowing for what or why; but she begged just the same.

"I have to warn you, Vivian…I'm going to bite. I won't be able to stop myself when I do." He panted as he rubbed himself against her, the slick wetness of her folds holding him, molding to him.

"I'm looking forward to it."

His head fell between her neck and shoulder as he continued to coat himself with her wetness. Her nails dragging down his back as the plum head bumped her clit over and over again.

Finally he eased back, his eyes silver-white like diamonds in the sun as he eased himself into her. The tight hot core of her engulfing him, he arched his back and pulled her closer. Once again sweat coated his brow as he continued to ease himself into her; he had to continuously remind himself that she had never been touched. He looked down at her face, contorted into a grimace and he leaned into her, holding her close.

"Deep breath, honey. Deep breath and hold it…"

Vincent felt the instant where she sucked in that breath and plunged his fangs into her. Her sharp gasp and quick jerk alerted him to the bit of pain she must've felt upon his entry, but as he took the first draw of her blood he felt, before he heard, her groan and answered with one of his own.

Her blood was fire, strength, but yet held a tang that he wasn't quite familiar with. It spoke of pain as he opened a channel with her. She was in great pain, a pain that he wasn't supposed to know about…taking another draw and then pulling back he made a vow as he sealed the wounds closed; that from now until her last breath he'd spend making her life nothing but pleasure.

Her eyes connected with his as he started a slow rhythm, soft deep thrusts in and out, in and out. His body lying on top of hers, his arms under her shoulders as he held her close and brought her lips into a sensuous kiss. Deep and slow, tracing, tasting, and teasing. His hips moving in even synch with hers adding a slow arch into the mix. On each slow circle his pubic bone connected with her clit as they danced together in perfect harmony.

"Vince…do not tease me."

"I'm not." He smiled sweetly and brushed hair from her face. She was a vision with her hair spread out on his pillow, her face rosy and her lips swollen from his kisses. "I just want to savor this."

Her arms came round and she planted her hands on his ass, digging her nails in causing him to buck hard into her. His eyes shut as he arched up and hissed. "Give me everything."

"Oh Vivian…" He groaned. "I've only just begun and you my pet are not playing fair."

After those words he took her hands in his and held them above her head, locking their fingers together as his rhythm gained speed. "I have longed for you ever since you came here, ever since I first saw you, could look upon you."

"Please."

"God, I can't get enough of you."

"Oh yes." She moaned and bucked up into him, he answered her by flipping their positions and she started to make her own rhythm as she leaned forward and brought their lips together. "My God…"

His hands gripped her as she leaned back and started riding him in earnest, her breasts bouncing with the rhythm and her body tossing backwards and forth. He leaned forward to take a dusky nipple in his mouth; her cry was low and long as her hand tangled in his hair to hold him in place. "Don't stop…"

"Can't stop…need…"

"Harder…"

Her body suddenly went rigid and he felt her inner muscles clamp down on him as she came. The rhythm stimulating him as he arched his back with a groan and pulled her down on top of him.

"I have never, ever felt anything like that in my entire life." She lifted her head off his chest and smiled at him. He was still hard inside of her and she shifted only to hear him groan. "How many times can you come?"

"Quite a few." He smiled. "But I don't know if it's just me or all males."

"Are we?" She looked hopeful.

"Soon, but you need to rest or you will be quite sore."

"Mmmm…"

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The room still smelled of vomit as the cloaked man opened a window. The hinges squeaking terribly under the strain; the fire only warmed the room it did nothing for the smell which was worsening by the second.

"How much longer do we have to stay here, sire?" The other man coughed and sputtered. "This place is going to fall at our feet."

"Until nightfall. I am aware of the unstable structure." His face came into the light and he sighed. "Tonight, Benjamin will be back on his throne."

"Of course."

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She awoke to warmth underneath her against the cold room. A tangle of limbs below and something hard inside her. It could only be a dream, it had to be to feel this good. Like a cat basking in the glow, she rubbed against the body below her and heard a rumbling growl, almost a purr and she opened her eyes only to be met with those silver blue orbs that often haunted her dreams.

"Am I still dreaming?"

He let out a wry chuckle. "You, my dear, are most certainly not dreaming. And not last night either."

Vivian smiled and kisses his chest as she laid her head back on top of it. "What will become of us?"

His fingertips traced idle patterns on her back as he let out a soft sigh. "Does it matter?"

"Do you expect us to hide this?"

"If it comes to that, then yes. I'd rather not hide you from the world when you're such a beautiful female. But I would do anything." He kissed her deeply and rolled her under him. "I love you so much."

XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

It was quiet, strangely quiet. Everything seemed to be at a standstill, like she was the only focus of attention and she did not know why. Surely they hadn't heard, had they?

"Vivian, come with me please…" Came a voice to her right as she looked up to see Lady Marie with her hand outstretched.

Placing her hand in hers, she was taken into the small room and the door was locked behind them. She was smiling, so Vivian took it as a good sign.

"He's marked you." Marie stated instantly. "I knew he would sooner or later."

"I was hoping for not at all." She said honestly. "Now he will never let me go."

"He wasn't going to let you go marked or not." Marie smiled. "Vincent doesn't show emotion easily. John hasn't seen him so alight in a very long time."

"I'm dying." She stated softly. "Besides him, you're the only one I've shared this with. I just wanted to slip away quietly and be done with it. But he's made that impossible now."

"Dying? And he doesn't care?"

"No, he does not. He wants to be with me until my last breath. Truthfully, Marie, it won't be too much longer. That's why I've been packing to leave, but I don't want to leave without him and I don't want him to have to leave."

She placed a hand on her shoulder and met her eyes. "By his hundredth birthday he will be banished anyway. You'd be doing him a favor. Males who do not marry are cast out."

Vivian's eyes widened. "He would wind up back here anyway after my death."

"He desires you, you desire him. Be with him; let him show you his love. Vincent is one of a kind and there will be no other male to show you the kindness that you deserve."

"Yeah, be well my lady."

"And you, dear Vivian."

XXXXXXXXxxxxxx

"Rhoddy, it's bloody cold out here what are you doing?" John chastised him as he walked out onto the indoor terrace. "You're supposed to be sleeping right now too, or have you forgotten?"

"John, please don't start." Vincent rubbed his eyes. "I do not need to be talked down to right now."

"I'm not trying to talk you down, my brother. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

His brow creased. "I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. I love her, and no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do any longer."

John stepped back and held up his hands in a surrendering motion. "Just be sure."

"I have never been more certain of anything in my life." He sighed and plopped down into a whicker chair. "I have been lonely, empty, and unhappy. I have a chance to be in that one place I wish to be. I want to feel alive."

"I do not envy you that." He smiled. "Where will you go?"

"Where ever she does."

"Then God speed Rhoddy."

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

"Why are you standing around you blithering idiots?" Benjamin snarled at the faces staring back at him as he walked into the mansions front doors. The air was stale and smelled of blood and rotting corpses. "I demand to know where my nightly cup is and why nobody has fit to inform me of a new place for the societies safe grounds."

He looked around the rooms blood spattered décor and sighed. It was going to be a long night. Finally someone came by his path with a full goblet of blood and then quickly disappeared. The hall was lightly furnished with a few chairs and tables to either sit or use as decoration. The molding was tarnished and somewhat rotting, but he didn't care at this point. There was no time to hire someone to come in and fix the place.

Sighing, he took a sip from the cup and started to make his way downstairs into the dungeon area of the huge establishment. This is where the heady aroma permeated from. The full stench of decaying flesh, disease, and of course excrement. This is where his most valued prisoners stayed; the ones he loved to torture until they gave him the answers he needed.

Another smell coated the air, a heady citrus tang, sourly sickening but oh so sweet. Fear. His nostrils flared as he breathed in deeply and smiled a sickeningly disgusting smile. It was time to play with an unsuspecting volunteer and he was happy to host the game.

XX

The chamber in the very back housed his most prized subjects. This one had a strong will and he had the most fun experimenting on him. Usually halfbreeds broke down after the second or third torture session, but this one held strong, fought diligently and was a real fire cracker. The orders were given and the cell was opened to all specifications as Ben waltzed inside with a smug grin.

His uncooperative subject was conscious and staring at him with undeniable hatred in his blue eyes glowing with red around the rims. Brown hair tapered with grey was covered with blood, dirt, and mud. His forehead up to his receded hairline contained cuts, bruises, and puckered pink scars that were still healing. There was a menacing growl stuck in his throat as he continued to stare down his torturer and flash his chipped fangs in rage.

Ben just laughed as he fixed a lit lantern on the hook above the open door, the light illuminating the piles of excrement on the floor; followed by rat carcasses, bones, and teeth.

"You amuse me, Jacob."

"Go fuck yourself." Jacob hissed and spit in his face. The action warranted a fisted blow to his solar plexus, but he did not buckle or show any signs of pain.

"Oh, you will talk and tell me everything I need to know." He stared him down. "They accepted you for marrying one of their own and I'm so sure that you're daughter is in good hands amongst their kind."

"You think you can bait me, but you're wrong." His eyes pierced his. "You have been condemned by your own kind as an insane psychopath. I have to agree with them."

A red hot iron poker came into view, the tip beet red and angry as it hissed against his flesh. His teeth grated together as he bore the pain and felt the instrument leave his body.

"You are so strong in body, but in time your mind will cave."

"I'll die first and then where will your party be?"

"Don't think you can ever deny me anything." He gripped the back of his head, twining his fingers in the strands of hair and pulling hard, their eyes meeting as a red flash pierced the semi-darkness. "Know this, Jacob Ross; I always get what I want."

He slammed his temple into the brick wall and watched as he fell unconscious. Holding out his hand briefly, it was then covered by a wet cloth as he started to clean his hands. Making his way out of the cell he ordered it resealed as he made his way along the dirty corridor for his next unsuspecting victim.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

She had managed to avoid him the rest of the day, which was no easy task. It seemed that he was always trying to corner her alone, but she always fled to another part of the manor. What happened before should've never transpired between them and she was determined to follow through with her plan that didn't include him.

Luck, however, was not on her side when she fully collided into him while on her way to the common room to meet with John. Vivian had a suspicion as to what the conversation would be about and in actuality, it would be easier to cut ties, or so she told herself.

Her body struck his full force and she would've collided with the ground had he not caught her and pulled her to him. His English tinted timbre filled her ears on a soft purring rumble.

"You have been avoiding me my sweet."

"I'm leaving."

"So you've said." His eyes met hers, unfazed. "I have said that I am going with you."

"No." She protested firmly.

"Yes." He hissed in a voice that meant there would be no argument. "Last night gives me the right to be by your side."

"Last night." Her eyes flashed in defiance. "Never happened."

In a move too quick to notice she was held up against the wall with his body pressing into her. It seemed that was where she always ended up when she was around him, up against the wooden frame of an inner housing structure.

"Last night did happen; the scent you carry is a testament to that." His fingers trailed down her face. "I do not give my affection out mildly; I do not give my heart without knowing. Last night I gave you myself, heart, mind, body, and soul. I will not take it back and I will not let you take back the gifts that you gave me. We are together."

"Don't do this."

"I already have and I am not taking it back, I cannot, will not. I love you, Vivian Ross and I will take no other."

And that's when his lips met hers…


	6. Six

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

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Six

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxx

**The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III**

_"She finally gave in and let me see to her and I've never felt such joy in my life. Vivian will never have to worry about anything ever again. I told her we could leave together, but she insisted we stay. She did not want me to leave this place and told me of Edgar's reluctant approval. Doctor Robbins paid me a visit today with some disturbing news. It was worse than I had thought, but it didn't sway me in the least."_

XXXXxxxxxxx

The office was cool, yet comfortable as he sat down and started working on a few plans for the new living arrangements with Vivian and himself. His desk was cluttered as he tried to bring order to chaos. It was easier said than done. Then he was broken out of his train of thought by a knock on the door.

"Come in." His guest entered and he smiled. "Ah Al, how good to see you."

"And you my friend, I hope you are well."

"I am and soon to be wed."

"Yes, to my most surviving patient." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he leaned heavily on his crutch, his eyes met his and he spoke once more. "She cannot be bled to you in the traditional way."

"Why?"

"She would die quicker. Our blood is pure, hers is corrupt. She is a rarity amongst her species as we are of ours. Her father was a halfbreed that married one of our clan. Your blood would cause the disease to accelerate and she would be dead a week later."

"My God…" Vincent shuffled a hand through his hair. "You cannot be serious."

"I am afraid I am. I am surprised she has survived this long. Not any of the cases I have looked after have lasted more than three years after their twentieth year. She has lasted seventeen."

"She's a survivor."

"Yes, but she grows weary." He rubbed his temples with his free hand. "I leave her with you in good hands for there is nothing more that can be done. She is dying, Vincent, it's just a matter of how long she has left."

Vincent sighed and bowed his head. "Time, our ever present enemy."

"Yes, indeed it is old friend." He bowed as well. "Indeed it is."

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx

Vivian hated how he could get his way with just a kiss. A kiss that totally melted her into a puddle at his feet and it was hard for her not to give in. She realized, however, that she had no choice in the matter anymore. Not without breaking both of them in two. She would not survive the loss, and neither would he. But when it was her time to leave him she just hoped that he would be okay. However, she still had a nagging in the pit of her brain that told her to flee. It was getting harder and harder to ignore.

Tucking the last of her things into a trunk, she shut the lid and waited for a couple of servants to take it to Vincent's room. At the announcement of their courtship and bond, she was immediately asked to pack her things and move in with her mate. Their wedding was in the week; however it would not be traditional because of her curse.

That thought put her off on the idea some, but it did not sway her from what her soul craved. Sitting on the empty bed she replayed the kiss over and over again in her mind. The way he was so heated and exploratory with her, the heat in his gaze when he pulled back, the way his arousal fit snuggly underneath her skirts to find her heat between her legs. It was all too much and she could not contain the small whimper of pleasure she felt.

It was time to do what her parents taught her before they died; live her life to the fullest each and every day and when she found love, she would keep it and cherish it to her last breath. Then that nagging feeling took hold of her again when she remembered what other things went with her curse.

XXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

She leaned against the wooden brace outside of the manor on the outdoor patio. The air was crisp and somewhat cool as she watched the sun set beyond the horizon. Vivian often wondered why lie beyond the stone wall that surrounded the grand structure she'd called home for the past two years. It was remarkable how the blend of colors would refract off the clouds to create the present hues in the sky of purples, pinks, reds, and oranges. The sunset was one of the beauties she never took for granted; just like sunrise.

Her full concentration was set so much on the view that she didn't realize there was someone standing behind her in the protective shadows of the awning. It was then that her thoughts were broken by a gruff clearing of the throat behind her.

"I really wish you wouldn't sneak up on me." She gasped as she whipped her body around to face her guest.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I just came to see you." He locked his eyes with hers. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I just came out to watch the sun set as I do every night." She shook her head and smiled softly. "I've often found them beautiful and I always enjoy them because life is too precious."

"It is, very much so. I know that you do not want pity my pet; but I hope you will allow me to offer you sympathy for your condition. Your physician spoke to me in great detail about your illness." He hung his head. "However, his information does not sway my decision to be with you."

"I accept your sympathy." Vivian stated softly. "But his words should've swayed you. I've been with this disease for seventeen years of my life. Suffered countless treatments, tested thousands of medications and had to drink laudanum on more than one occasion to stop the pain. Not a safe remedy, but the only one to slow the process."

"You are able to withstand it because of your vampuric nature." Vincent walked closer to her as the sun finally settled behind the horizon edge and the sky began to darken. "I know that you are mostly human and it is what condemned you to this fate."

"I just wish that I had more time." A single tear trailed down her cheek which he in turn wiped away with his thumb.

"Life is never fair, but I will give you everything I am in order to make your life complete."

"I love you." She embraced him.

"And I love you." He wrapped his arms around her as they gazed at the stars. "Let's go to bed."

XXXXxxxxxxxxx

He wiped off his hands with a wicked grin as the cell door shut firmly behind him. His latest catches would be sent off for processing soon and he couldn't have been happier about the outcome. How it was convenient that two pure bloods fell right into his lap. The drain would be quick and he would soon have is nightly feeding.

"I want this floor cleaned up and room number six prepped for drain." He stated as he marched through the thin hallway and into the torture chamber. Each instrument covered in caked blood, gore, and fecal matter. "I also want this table rinsed and primed. It's time to bring back our halfbreed for questioning."

"Your wishes shall be granted master." The two slaves bowed and made their exit.

"See that they are."

Benjamin let his eyes fall upon the second table in the back side of the stone room. The warm sensation he felt in the pit of his belly as he turned full attention on the collection of chains, daggers, and irons. A shiver rested at the base of his spine and trailed upwards as he smiled a wicked smile. Tonight was the night he'd get all his answers.

Xxxxxx

Dragged, he hated being dragged. Especially with the heavy shackles that bound his legs and made a hollow skittering sound along the rocky ground. Two of the many guards were pulling him towards the chamber at the end of the hall. A low lit room with every torture device known to man.

It was horrible, the despicable acts that went on behind these walls. If only he could get free and dispatch of these wicked monstrosities. However, the course of action was not meant to be in light of his recent weakness, inability to feed, and the several deep wounds he had suffered.

"Welcome back, Jacob." His hiss could be heard throughout the entire room as he was heaved up onto the table and shackled to it by both arms and legs. "I hope you're enjoying your stay."

He turned his face away only to have it brought back to face the eyes he hated looking into. Face to face, he spit at him and received a hard blow in return. A tooth clicked to the floor as he licked his split lip.

"You will learn to show respect."

"Respect to a bottom-feeder like you? Scum of the earth is what you are." Another blow crushing along his check; the crack of bone splintering the air.

"And you will learn manners."

"And you can kiss my ass."

At those words a set of rusty extractors came into view. Jacob didn't even flinch at the oversized implement heading for his face.

"Hold his mouth open." Came the hateful growl to one of his many helpers. "Let's see here, so many teeth to choose from still. Healthy, pearly, ivory whites." After each descriptive word he tapped a tooth with the intstrument. "Which one to go first?" He tapped a back molar. "This one?" He tapped a bottom canine. "Or this one?"

His eyes turned red as he looked up at his captor with malice; a low rumbling growl coming from deep inside his chest. Finally the extractors clutched around a left back molar and were tugged in an upward motion. A flash of bright red followed as the tooth came free of the housing and pain shot through his mouth as the nerves were severed and exposed.

"Ah…this is a nice one." Ben chuckled as he examined his choice. "But I think I want a few more."

He dropped the tooth to the tray beside the table and went in for a bottom right canine, clutching to the tooth and pulling with all his might. Again the same show of blood and another tooth to the tray. This process went on for over fifteen minutes with at least six teeth of the bottom row removed.

Finally the tool clattered to the tray behind him and he then picked up a cutting tool. Thin bladed and sharp to the touch, more efficient than a razor. Arms chained and useless, Jacob had no choice but to lay and endure the countless slashes across his chest and arms, the constant shallow plunges of the blade into his abdomen. Closing his eyes he wondered what was to become of him soon…then he dared not think about it as he lost consciousness.

XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jonathan had a long day and decided it was time to retire for the late morning hours. The journey from the council chambers to the dormitories hall was an extensive and taxing one. His feet ached, his back was sore, and he wished to rest immediately. However, the journey was still a pleasant one as he admired the new paintings and tapestries that had been sent from France and China.

The last room on the left was his and he entered it with the upmost caution and quietness. He realized that in his duties he'd been neglecting his mate and didn't want to disturb her if she was resting. What he was greeted with was a total and utter shock.

Candles filled the room, dimly lit and utterly beautiful. Her frame was kissed by the orange glow as she rested on the bed in the center of the room. His eyes almost bugged out of their sockets as he took in the view before his very eyes.

She was dressed in satin, deep purple and rich, her dark hair fanning around her shoulders and illuminating her graciously smooth pale skin. He swallowed hard, his Adams apple bobbing with the force as he slowly made his way towards the bed. His eyes glowed and pulsated to the beat of his heart as he closed in on her.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"I'd think that it'd be obvious." She rose up on her knees to greet him. "Come to bed, love."

"Oh, you do not have to tell me twice."


	7. Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

XXXXXXxxxxxx

Seven

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**The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III**

_"I have been studying along side Doctor Robbins for the past few days. Reading his books, collecting his samples, and performing my own studies on the collected blood from my dear Vivian. With the limited equipment and technology, there is no way to device any type of cure from the provided means. My blood or any other pure blood or halfbreed would be potentially fatal. A cure will never be found in this lifetime and possibly the next. Even so, it would be too late._

_I am not devoting myself to her out of pity, as many of the council members often believe. They give me looks that make me wish I could cause the ultimate violence. In their eyes I see hatred, fear, and also the soul misunderstanding of my own person. I would not mind being cast out at this very moment for being different for I will never change. These walls hold nothing more for me; they just house this empty soul that has found retribution in a likeliness which happens to be human."_

XXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx

She had slowed her breathing to an even rhythm but he knew she wasn't asleep. He was tuned to how her breathing was regulated and could sense something troubling her. His eyes always focused to the din around them lit a solitary candle next to the bed and observed her pale features. Days and nights seemed to carry on all around them with not a care in the world. It was this that kept him from sleeping most of the time. The knowledge that time was an ever present enemy in the life of the woman sleeping in his arms.

Her latest checkup revealed no change in her status, but he left before Al told her how long she had. It was knowledge he did not wish to know, it was irrelevant to him how long she would live because he would do anything and everything in his power to prolong her life. His fingers brushed away a stray curl of chestnut hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear as she turned towards him. Her eyes opened and she sighed.

"I cannot fool you, can I?"

"No, I'm afraid you cannot my love." He smiled softly. "What is troubling you?"

"The pain I'm going to feel when my body starts to literally eat itself." She shook her head. "I do not look forward to it."

"Try not to think of it."

"I have tried, and it is a constant thought that resonates through my tired mind." A single tear trailed down her cheek. "I had a good friend go through what I'm going through. She was a sweet young lady of about twenty-two years. She always brought a smile to my face. However, she was always so sad. It was then she told me of her pain, a pain unlike anything else she'd ever known. A twisting inside, a feeling of being stung or stabbed repeatedly with nothing to sooth the burning afterwards."

His mind tried desperately to circle around the facts she had just presented him with. He honestly wished that his blood could cure her, but the trial would lead to her death. It was unspeakable.

"I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure you are in as little pain as possible."

"I'm afraid that your trials will be for naught." She moved to get up and move away from him but he held her steadfastly.

"I want to show you something."

"What?"

Vincent pulled her towards him to a painting that adorned his wall. "My mother."

"She's beautiful."

"Yes, but I do have to question my origins sometimes." He stated softly. "You see, when she married my father, they often questioned his origins. He was a part of the society and it often went against my mother's nature. She was Egyptian coming from a long line of Pharos back in ancient times. My father married her to bring royalty into the bloodline."

"I see. What happened to her?"

"Before my parents married, she was captured and tortured. Experimentation on our kind is not unheard of; we've been around for a very, very long time. So with that torture, it is said that she had been pregnant with me before taking my father's hand in marriage. However, it was proved false when I turned out a pure-blood like he. I am disbelieving at times because of my nature. My mother died close to fifty years ago."

"What about your father?"

"The band of blood-packers captured and killed him. My mother never took another mate. I do not blame her; he was a good man of exceptional character."

"Was he one of the chosen?"

"Indeed. It is why Edgar is so eager for me to take his place. I do not want to, however. I am no leader." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. "It is time for the evening meal, you should feed."

"I'm not hungry." She shook her head. "I haven't been for a while."

"You still should eat, honey."

"Fine."

"I'll see to the kitchen and find something edible for you."

XXXXXxxxxxxxxx

He wiped the blood from his hands with a ratty, tattered cloth and sighed harshly at the body before him. The uselessness of it all, the erratic torture, behavior, and senselessness of the fight deemed futile to the mass of flesh that was settled before him barely breathing.

"Are you going to tell me what I need to know?" His acidic tone cut through the silence in the room, the sound reverberating off the walls and meeting his ears as his face contorted into a stony version of anger.

Their breathing was the only noise that permeated the deep stillness of the space around him. Red eyes met black as they duked it out in a game of wits. A staring contest of the weak and the strong. There was no way in hell he was going to be deemed the weak one.

"I will find them, Jacob. It's just a matter of time. The more I rid the earth of your kind will lead to our benefit our survival." He smiled down at the corpse of a man. His right eye swollen shut, his lips tattered, sliced, and swollen. His torso battered, bruised, sliced, burned, and peeling. Benjamin was happy with his work, but unhappy with the results. "You won't live much longer."

"So kill me you bastard."

"Why?" He trailed a fingertip down his face watching as he flinched. "I'm having so much fun playing with you. If I kill you now, I'll be all alone."

"You're a sick fuck."

Suddenly his air was cut off as his throat was being constricted by the leather strap around his neck. The seams being pulled taut by something underneath the table. For a brief moment he saw his life flash before his eyes before the pressure lifted and he inhaled a huge breath, sucking oxygen until his lungs burned.

"Take him back to the cell and chain him up."

XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

It was midday by the time she was able to sneak away from Vincent and take a stroll outside to the gazebo she often visited on the grounds. She knew she had to talk to Al about it soon but she was hoping it was something else. Pain had all forms, but she knew the longer she prolonged it, the harder it would be for him to tell her.

Her eyes trailed towards the covered window on the second floor, the room she shared with him and a solitary tear trailed down her cheek as she looked at the suitcase she'd packed earlier that sat by her side. Vivian figured she had a few hours at least before he'd notice she was gone. Hopefully it'd be enough time for her to go and he'd never find her. Little did she know that her assumptions couldn't be more wrong as she picked up the case and made her way towards the front gates.

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Vincent slowly came to wakefulness as his body finally felt charged instead of weary. Smiling, he reached over to greet his bedmate only to find her side of the bed empty and cold. His eyes shot open and he took in a deep breath. She'd been gone for a while; the dissipating odor confirmed his suspicions and his smile furrowed into a frown. Throwing the covers back he picked up a pair of trousers from on top of the trunk at the foot of the bed and pulled them on, tying the sash evenly and finding a crisp white shirt to go with it.

His eyes then caught something out of the corner of his eye, a small piece of parchment folded over on her night table, his name inscribed in lush calligraphy.

**Vincent…**

Picking up the note, he opened it carefully and read the contents.

**_I'm sorry you have to read this, but I knew if I told you, you'd never let me leave. So this is how it has to be. I am not happy to leave you, but I will not let you waste your time on me. I'm dying, I do not have much longer to live, and I do not want you consumed with me any longer. I've always loved you, Vincent. I see it clearly now as flowers often bloom in the spring. I will always remember you until the final breath I take. _**

**_I request that you do not look for me and let me go. Find a woman to make you happy that you can spend your whole life with. A woman that would be much more worthy than I. _**

**_Goodbye_**

His body heaved as he fought to control his emotions. The words on the page feeding the fire. _How could she think herself unworthy of my love? Did I not make it clear to her how I felt?_ A single tear trailed down his cheek as he folded the letter and put it in his beside table drawer, closing the object noisily.

Adjusting his shirt, he tucked it into his pants and grabbed his cloak. Shoving his arms through the sleeves, he pulled it over his shoulders with a grace that trumped his mood and stormed out of his room with the door slamming noisily behind him. He thought that everything was fine, that she was going to stay with him. Why did she run now after telling him, promising him? John met him in the hall with a grim expression on his face noticing his friends' bad mood.

"Rhoddy."

"John, for once please leave me alone, I am going to find her if I have to tear England apart." He stated through clenched teeth as he shoved him aside. A dull thud echoing through the hall as his body made contact by the smooth shove from the larger male.

Marie came up behind him with a sad sigh and placed a hand on her mate's shoulder. "She left didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. I pray for her now because of the bond. Vivian is going to be in a lot of trouble when Rhoddy finds her. She should've never left, especially since she loves him back."

"Where do you think he'll find her?"

"Somewhere far from here. I heard her one day talking about how she always wanted to go to Paris."

XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxx

She paced like a caged animal and cursed her rotten luck. Packed and ready with no where to go. The train was late beyond measure and the nearest station wasn't within walking distance. Grumbling, she kicked her case with her shoe and plopped herself unceremoniously on one of the benches. Pulling her cloak tighter around her, the air was cool but she was shivering for an entirely different reason.

Her body always came to life in his presence, the closer he was, the more she felt it. It was illogical and unexplainable but she felt it all the same. Right now her body was giving off that radar and she was praying that he wouldn't spot her. Her prayers were in vain when she saw a cloaked figure approaching her.

"Vivian." He said softly. "Why are you doing this? Why do you feel that you are unworthy of me?"

"Because I am." She bit out. "I specifically told you not to look for me."

"No." He shook his head as he kneeled before her. "You _requested_ that I not look for you. A request I ignored."

"Why can't you just accept that we can't be together?"

"I refuse to, as you should." He gently pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I thought that we moved passed this and agreed to be together. I belong to you as you to me. Why back away at a chance of happiness if not for a while?"

"For reasons you cannot, or will not understand." A solitary tear trailed down her cheek as he wiped it away with his thumb.

"I know all I need to know and nothing is going to change my mind." He eased up and pulled her with him. "Come home with me."

She started to protest but he brought his lips down on hers in a searing kiss, a kiss that made her feel starved and she responded to in kind. A kiss that made her struggle for air and feel weak in the knees. Vivian knew from this moment forth, it would be a struggle to resist him.


	8. Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

XXXXXXXXXx

Eight

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxx

**The Journal of Vivian Ross**

_"It's times like these that makes me miss my parents. As much as a companion I have in Vincent, it still does not replace the ache in my heart in their absence to some of the most joyous occasions in my life. Al told me that the pains were normal and nothing to yet worry about. That I am thankful for. I just wish that I could see my parents across the hall or outside one day and see the smiles on their faces when they see how happy I've finally allowed myself to be. Vincent treats me like a princess. I'm sure they'd approve. _

_However, there is a dark side to all of this that I never mention to anyone. I will never bear children. I will never have the joy of holding a child of our creation and I do not want to be a disappointment to the man I love. It was one of the reasons I decided to flee that night he came after me. I feel lucky that the train was late that night or else I wouldn't be where I am now. In some ways though, I also consider it a blessing that no other child will have to go through the horrible pain that I know will be starting soon. It's only a matter of time."_

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She was on her stomach on the smooth silk sheets that lined his bed. They had made love earlier and the scents of their consummation still lingered in the air around them. In truth, she'd never smelled anything more beautiful. The smoky, thick fragrance that coated her skin was all his doing and she felt as he pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck. It was getting close for him to wake and she settled into his warmth as he opened those beautiful silver-blue eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She sighed softly as she traced his cheek with her fingertips.

"No my dear, you did not." His smile then left his face as he pulled her closer to him. "Why did you run, Vivian?"

"I do not wish to talk about it." Her voice was soft, yet firm.

"I want to understand." He paused and gently traced idle patterns along her back.

"I am not a complete woman." Came her sad confession.

"Complete?" He looked at her puzzled. "My dear female, you're as complete as you need to be."

"No, I'm not. I am infertile."

"This does not matter to me." He gently coaxed her to look at him with a single finger underneath her chin. "I am aware of everything that you may face with your condition. I considered that an ability to carry young would be in that list somewhere. Vivian, I love you for you, not for your ability to conceive."

"But it's what most males wish for, a chance to carry their bloodline." She protested as he placed two fingers over her lips, silencing her.

"I just need you, my pet. Only you, children do not matter. You matter." With those words he brought their lips together for a powerful and heated kiss. His body molding to hers as he rolled her under him, his fangs playfully nipping at her lips; his tongue dancing around hers with gentle swipes. It was enough to drive her mad as she groaned and ran her fingers through his graying curls gently tugging at the strands and hearing his muffled growls as he started to buck into her.

"Vincent…" She panted as her legs parted so he could lie fully between them, his erection seated firmly in her folds rubbing gently as her wetness gushed against him, coating him with every slow stroke.

Vivian felt as he lowered his hands and stroked her body, her nipples rising to attention as he gently traced his thumbs around the puckered buds and pinching them lightly between thumb and forefinger. She moaned and arched against his caresses as he continued to stroke down her body until he reached the juncture of her thighs. A low groan came out of her lips as she felt his thumbs on either sides of her, parting her folds so he could sink deeper, rocking against her.

"Let me make love to you, Vivian. Let me show you how worthy you are; how much I desire you." He panted as he brought their lips together once more and slowly continued to thrust through her drenched folds. She could feel him on each stroke, the slow rhythm he carried as he pressed and rolled. The slick slow strokes from entrance to the underside of her clit, bumping the bud with the engorged head and back down.

"Please…" She heard herself beg as he continued his slow torturous assault on her senses. He took a nipple between his lips and started to suckle softly, his tongue swirling around the bud as he continued the slow thrusting between her thighs. The wet suction sounds the only ones besides her short pants and his soft growls.

Vincent let her nipple go with a soft pop and switched to the other one giving it equal attention. He felt as her nails slowly dug down his back, the pleasure and pain combination made him buck into her a bit more wildly, loving the feel of her marking him as hers. He growled his approval and rewarded her by picking up the pace and watching as she come undone underneath him with a long groan.

"Oh yes…" She whimpered. "Please…"

"What do you desire?"

"I need you."

"Mmm." He chuckled. "I need to taste you."

"Vince…" She huffed a bit as he kissed down her body and to the juncture between her thighs.

"It's been too long, my dear. I need to, I want to." He sighed against her folds and traced his tongue around, watching as she arched into him. He placed a hand on either side and held her in place as he slowly began his assault. His tongue dipped inside and slowly twirled around, he growled softly at her flavor, headier than last time, but the taste just as exquisite. Her whimper filled his ears as her hands nestled in his hair, pulling none too gently.

"Oh God, please…" Came her breathy cry as he continued to put her senses to the test. He dipped in and out slowly, savoring all she had to give before slowly tracing around her clit and feeling her fingers tighten on his hair. He raised her legs over his shoulders and brought himself closer, feeling as her legs clutched the sides of his face as he delicately traced her folds with his fangs.

Every now and then he'd release a growl that made her skin crawl and her body arch into him, seeking the pleasure only he could give her. He growled against her again and watched as she came apart, her back floating in a long slow curve as she came for the second time.

He slowly eased up from between her legs and savored her flavor as he moved back overtop of her. Her thighs again parting for him to lie between them, his erection coming to rest between her slickened folds as he gently started a rhythm once more, coating himself with her moisture. She moaned and brought their lips together as he gently eased himself inside her with a few small thrusts.

Groaning, he collapsed against her, engulfed in her heat and warmth as he grinded against her in long slow arches. The circular pattern of his hips hitting spots inside her she never knew existed. His weight crushing her into the mattress, his body moving slowly against hers as she clasped her hands behind his head and brought his face to her neck.

"Bite me…" She panted out and brought him closer to her with her legs. "Oh please…"

"Vivian…" He grunted, trying to pull away but she held fast.

"Don't deny me what I want, you never have before."

Growling softy with a hiss, he arched back and rolled over, bringing her on top of him. He sat up, knees bent, her leaning against him and guided her rhythm as he moved her hair behind her to bring her neck into view. "Deep breath, honey."

The snap was quick and cobra like, the initial sting painful until he opened the connection between the two of them. One hand behind his neck to hold him to her, the other on his shoulder to give her something to hold onto while she continued to ride him in earnest. Her mind and body were numb to the pleasure he continued to give her, she'd never felt anything so incredible in her life as she started to come.

Finally he released her and sealed the wounds closed, her flavor still strong, still potent, but still carrying that air of the disease that wracked her body and made her the woman she was. He felt her collapse against him as they both fell to the mattress behind them, the sheets fluffing with the force of their impact.

Out of breath and gasping for air, they kissed gently and laid there in waiting for their bodies to finally rest. With a sigh, she kissed him again and again feeling as he responded in kind but separated their bodies, causing her to moan in protest. Then a thought occurred to her, one that she had failed to ask before.

"I thought males of the society were not allowed to perform the oral sins."

"I am not a normal member, my love. I was taught by a woman outside of this compound. However, she no longer matters, she never really mattered." He sighed as he rolled her over onto her belly. "I wish to be deeper in you."

"Deeper?" She questioned.

"Oh yes, so deep that there is no way to know where you end and I begin." He sighed and propped her up on all fours. "Would you allow me to show you this pleasure?"

She felt him hover over her, leaning against her back and sighing deeply. His fingertips caressed her curves and she sighed. If he could go deeper, then she was willing to try. Everything he did for her pleased her immensely.

"Show me…"

"Anything you desire." He whispered as he arched up and entered her in one smooth stroke. She moaned as she felt him fill her in an entirely new way and automatically thrust against him, feeling as if she already knew.

"Oh yes, please don't hold back." She panted thickly as her breath caught and he pulled back and thrust into her again and again. The slick sounds echoing in the room as she gripped the pillow in front of her and countered his rhythm. Vivian had never known anything like this as she felt his arms on either side of her shoulders, his body firmly pressing against her back as he continued his movements, sweat dripping onto her back as his chest continued to rub against her.

"So beautiful, so tight…" He groaned. "I love the feel of you all around me."

"Yes…" Was her chocked response as she pushed back hard and caused him to answer with an even swifter thrust as he rose up on his knees and his hands connected with her hips driving into her like a piston. "Oh yes, give me all of you."

His speed increased yet again and the beautiful friction she felt became more and more intense, his left hand slid between them both and circled around that nub as she spread her legs and lifted herself overtop of him, feeling his right clutch at her breasts as she helped him with the speed and intensity, feeling the tip of him bump against her innermost places. She came undone then, feeling as he drove into her slick and sure, the heat of his climax filling her and running down the insides of her thighs, coating them both as they came to a slow halt, her head turning around so that she could kiss him thoroughly.

"Oh my God…" She sighed against him. "You are spoiling me."

"I've only just begun."

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He fell to the floor in an ungraceful heap as he watched his master wipe away the blood with one of the many rags he kept on his person. His expression was less than friendly as he stood over him.

"He's what?"

"Dead, sire." Came the servants gulped reply. "There was nothing we could do to save him."

"That was my only link to the society and now it's gone. I train you and I train you and this is the thanks that I get. Ungrateful maggots." He kicked his side and walked away. "His blood isn't even useful, so this is going to be fully your responsibility."

"Sire?"

"Dispose of him."

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John was seated on the opposite side of the table from Edgar staring him straight in the eyes and not believing his ears. Disbelief crossed his features as he leaned back to take it all in.

"You want what?"

"I want you to take my place." He said simply. "I grow weary, Jonathan, it is not old news. I am past my prime and will no longer be able to lead the society. Vincent was supposed to be my heir, but he will not take the job. I understand where his heart truly lies and if I'd have found a mate to produce my own I would not be placing this burden on you my son."

"I do not consider it a burden, Edgar. I consider it an honor. You're like my father, sire. I feel as though I never really had one since mine was too interested in politics and power." He shook his head. "You have taught me well."

"That I have, at the day of my final breath, you shall be named in my place Jonathan Rice."

"So be it."

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It was her next check up and she sat in the chair waiting on what Al had to say. She was always so apprehensive about these visits and what made it different this time was Vincent was sitting next to her, holding onto her hand and lightly stroking her knuckles with his thumb.

"I have to say, Vivian, you have a strong will. Your body is still in the same condition as it was the last time I examined you. However, I fear that I might have to take a few more blood samples to analyze your progress." He pulled up a chair and leaned forward, checking her essentials. "Are you experiencing any pain?"

"A little, basic muscle aches and I'm still having the fainting spells."

"Those are all normal side effects. You've had this for a long time, my child. It's not going to remain manageable for too much longer."

"I know." She sighed. "So I've still got at least a year?"

"With the added muscle aches, I'm not sure. They could be early signs of degeneration. There are a lot of things to consider." He pulled a notepad out of his pocket and started writing on it. "I suggest you take it easy for a few days, bed rest, no rough physical activity…" His eyes focused on Vincent for a second watching him turn red in a heated blush before turning back to her. "And then come back and see me if there is still pain."

"Alright. Thank you, Al." She sighed and lowered herself to the floor off of the table.

"It's not a problem, Vivian. It's always a pleasure." He smiled softly.

She felt him behind her with a hand on the small of her back as they exited Al's room and started their way down the hall. Her sigh was not lost on his ears as he continued to keep in step with her.

"You're troubled."

"I'm always troubled, Vincent." She admitted. "I've been suffering for what seems like forever and I just wish that there was a cure."

"I wish there was one to, my pet. I wish my blood could save you, but according to Al, it would make you die faster." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand as they continued to walk. "Would you like something to eat before we retire for the evening?"

"Some soup would be nice."

"Then soup you shall have." He smiled gently as they continued towards the kitchen.


	9. Nine

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've been very busy with other tasks and really haven't had the time or inspiration to write much of anything. I hope you enjoy this next chapter and know that there will be another update soon. Enjoy!

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Nine

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**The Journal of Vivian Ross**

_"Jonathan came and gave Vincent some interesting news today. Edgar approached him about replacing his chair on the council's circle. I only heard part of the conversation since I was ordered by Albert to stay in bed for a while. I still have some muscle aches that come and go, but I fear that they will not go away forever. _

_During the day my body refuses to rest as I am getting used to sleeping during the morning hours. Though I know that my unrest state is due to the aching I feel all over as if I had the flu. I know when I go back to Albert soon that he is going to diagnose me with less time and I hate to face it. Especially now that I am in love with some one. It's painful, these feelings that I have. Sometimes I wish that the train wouldn't have been late that night, then I wouldn't have to face the looks that will be forever ingrained in my head and know that I will be the cause of his pain forever to come."_

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She had just closed her leather bound journal and slid it underneath the space between the roping and the mattress. She could tell the sun was bright and the day was beautiful even from behind the thick curtains that kept the light out. Vincent lay asleep beside her, his arm curled around her middle and pulling her closer to spoon against his chest.

Even though they weren't intimate in the past few days, they still slept skin to skin. His heat radiated off him like a coal oven and she relished in it, especially on the winter days. It eased some of the pain in her muscles, but not all. She was due to see Al again in two more days; he passed by her in the hall when she went to the kitchen to confirm her visit as he made a sandwich and went back to his office.

It was a meeting she was going to dread even as she laid there on her side with Vincent's warm breath gently caressing the side of her neck, the warm puffs of air stirring her insides. It was too bad that Doc had to suspend their 'physical' activities or she'd be waking him up about now for some pleasurable company. She really wanted to make love to him, wanted to feel alive. But she had to wait for the results that she dreaded so dearly.

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"I am so sick and tired of the incompetence around here. I ask for simple tasks to be completed and all I get are mouths that won't close with excuses."

"Sire…" His servant sighed.

"No, you are not to speak. Sometimes you are just as bad as the rest of them."

Ben marched around the side of his desk and sat heavily in the wooden chair with a loud creak as it adjusted to his weight. "Bring me my evening meal, then you may leave."

"Yes sire."

The servant left quickly and sighed as he went about his business. Little did Ben know that he was messing with the wrong man. The jagged scar caught on each row of lit candles, illuminating it for all to see.

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx

It was news she dreaded with all her heart and it cut to the bottom of her soul. Why now of all times? She tried desperately to cling to hope but Al had given her the saddened news.

XX

"I don't want to hear it." She sighed and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Why now?"

"I'm sorry, Vivian. There is nothing I can do." Al gently grasped her hand and she jerked it away. 

"Don't say that to me!" She cried. "Please don't you dare say that to me! I want to live." 

Al watched as she sank to the floor in front of him, her whole spirit seeming to disintegrate in one fell swoop. She had been brave and stead fast her entire life and now she did not want to face the inevitable. He slowly knelt before her and placed a hand under her chin, lifting her tear-filled eyes to connect with his. 

"I know you do, you are the strongest person I know and you've lived with this your whole life. There is someone who wants to be with you, wants to care for you. Let him, let him love you while he still can." 

"I don't know how to say goodbye." 

"Then don't." 

XX

The memory haunted her as she looked out over the terrace towards the setting sun. She knew that if she didn't tell Vincent on his return that Al would. However, she couldn't bring herself to tell him. It was too much too soon and she couldn't bear the thought of his reaction. Fate, though it would seem, took her decision from her.

"Vivian my dear, are you well?" Came his husky accented tone behind her. "I know you've seen Al today, he told me where to find you."

"I don't want to talk about it right now." She sighed and continued to watch the colors shift on the horizon. "I'm sure he already told you since I could not."

"He has, my dear. It does not change my mind."

"It should, I have maybe two months at best. Surely not enough time to go the places I wish to go, to see sights I've dreamed to see, and to be with you like I want to." Vivian turned to face him, the light casting shadows to her features as she looked at him. "It's not fair."

"Life isn't fair." He sighed, walking forward to capture her in his arms. "But no matter how much time you have left, I wish to spend it with you."

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"You've spoken to him?" Edgar sighed as he looked over at John.

"I have, he doesn't wish to change his mind on this matter. He's going to take her wherever she wishes to go and I feel that there is no possible way to talk him out of this."

"He's with her to the end and I fear that once she does pass…"

"Let's not think of it."

"Indeed."

"Are we going to see them off?" John asked suddenly.

"No. It is best if they leave without us there. It would be too hard for them to go knowing what they are leaving behind. Especially young Vivian. One look at us and she would decide to make the journey alone."

"I suppose you're right. How much time?"

"A couple months at the most."

"It's not enough."

"No, it's not. But it is out of our hands now." With a nod and a wave of his hand, Edgar dismissed John and contemplated on the effects this was going to have on the entire clan. The outcome seemed incredibly bleak.

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"You continue to test my patience, Benjamin. You are a pitiful excuse for a leader and I have made it clear several times for you to find them."

"I know, father. I know. It is not my fault that they are so cunning." He sighed. "And quite frankly, the help is little to be desired."

"Silence. It is your fault, and your fault only. You will not blame it on your servants. The servants are only as good as the one who guides them." The man called 'Father' growled low in his throat. "You will go back to where you found the halfbreed and wait. The next prisoner you find you will bring to me or else you will pay the ultimate price. Is this understood?"

"Yes, sire."

"Now leave me and do not return unless you have what I ask for."

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"You are crazy if you think you can stop him now." A servant sighed quietly as the scarred man continued his search.

"I don't think I can stop him, I know I can. However, it will take time."

"You seriously are daft. Time is not something we have. As he continues to be angry with us, we are dispatched one by one. What makes you so special?"

"My ability to hide in plain site. His curse is now mine."

"Whatever." The servant sighed. "Just don't get the rest of us caught up in your freedom struggle with the master."

"Do not worry, his reign may only last another century. I promise I will free you all and I never go back on a promise."

"If you don't mind, where did you get your scars?"

"I was once the master's protégé. However, he turned on me and burned me with the Flames of Eternity. What he didn't know is that I lived through his attack and am now his greatest enemy."

"Right."

With a wave of his hand he sighed. "And now you will remember nothing of this conversation."

"What was I doing?" The servant sighed and scratched his head.

"You were about to go to your master and ask his wishes."

"Right, thanks."


	10. Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI

AN: I'm sorry that I haven't been updating, this is the last chapter I had fully written before I decided to take a break from this fandom. Do not fear, however, since I have every intention of completing this story. It may take me longer than I had ever planned, but it will reach completion.

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Ten

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**The Journal of Vincent Rhodock III**

_"We are starting for Paris today, one of the first destinations on Vivian's list of places to see. Even though Albert has not given her the clean bill to travel, he is understanding of her need to see the sights she wishes to see. I feel that I should accompany her because of my love and my will to see her through every step of the way. She continues to think me mad that I am in love with her, but so what if I am, it offends me not what she or the others think. I will be with her till her last breath, till the soil upon her is high and I will take no other once she ceases to be. I have made this vow in my blood. I will never break it for I'm certain that our souls will meet once more."_

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"Are you sure that you're not going to regret this, Vincent? I couldn't bear it if you did." She sighed as she placed her bags atop the carriage.

"I assure you that nothing would make me happier than spending time with you." He hugged her close. "We will be on the train before dawn and in our quarters. I've been needing an adventure for quite some time now and until I met you, I grew weary of this place. I've never felt happier than in your presence."

She sighed softly. "I just hope you truly know what you're doing."

"I do."

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The carriage was finally loaded and Vincent was making sure that the last of the luggage was secured on top. Vivian was already seated in the carriage and then he heard the distinguished gait of the one person he'd hoped to avoid.

"Are you sure this is what you want my son?" He held out an envelope to him. "Because I want you to be sure."

"Nothing would make me happier sire." He bowed, then straightened. "What is this?"

"Something I want you to have. Even though you are not going to take my place, I've always thought of you as my son. Your father was a good man and I kept my promise. I helped your mother raise you as if you were my own."

He opened the envelope cautiously, a medal being revealed with two twin dragons intersecting covering its surface. "It cannot be…"

"It is, Vincent. The very thing you've been looking for all this time. I was to give it to you on your one-hundredth birthday, but I think now is a fitting time as ever."

"The family crest…" A tear trailed down his cheek as he embraced his keeper. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Be happy." He smiled. "That is what you can do for me."

"You have my word."

"Then go, you are free…but remember that you are always welcomed within these walls."

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"I've been waiting for you, Benjamin. Again you disappoint me with no knowledge of where they live. Even though you're of my own flesh, I find it hard to look upon you."

"You would, it is your own unwillingness to find the decency to look upon me that is now your undoing."

The swipe of the sword was so fast that the elder man had only but a moment to blink before his head was completely removed from his shoulders and clattered to the ground below. Pulling a small tattered piece of cloth from his breast pocket, he cleaned the sword and threw the bloodied garment on the body.

"Your reign over me has ended, it is now my turn to rule." His smile stretched wide as he snapped his fingers. "Take him to the heating room in the dungeon. Clean his bones and burn the flesh."

"Yes sire, shall we clean the room?"

"Yes, I want it spotless."

"As you so desire, sire."

His eyes scanned the blood splattered ground where his father once stood and he turned towards the mirror, his smile branched upwards into a wicked grin as he began to laugh, the sound echoing off the chamber walls in sickening bellows. His time had begun…

XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you sure this is what you want to do, you haven't spoken much since we started this trip." Vivian sighed as she walked around the small living quarters they shared for the daytime hours.

"I am, sweetheart. I'm just admiring the scenery. I have never been out of the mansion you know, the outside world is a wondrous place." He smiled softly and took her hand in his. "The world glistens with a new luster that I am proud to share with you."

"Just don't get too close to the sunlight."

"Yes, dear."

"So how much further to Paris?"

"Not much further if we remain on the course we're taking now." He felt her gently nibble at his neck. "I'm sensing an ulterior motive."

"You would be correct." She sighed. "It's been a while since we've made love."

"Indeed it has." Vincent pulled her closer. "I am sorry that I have been neglectful, I just didn't want to pressure you."

"Thank you, but I really do need you."

"As I need you and always will."

Their lips met softly at first, conveying the deepest of emotions, the purest of souls in touch with one another. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed with haste, desperate to show her, desperate to feel her.

"It has been too long and now I fear my body and soul craves you too greatly."

"As does mine crave yours." She sighed as their lips met once more and he shed his shirt quickly along with her gown to press his skin to hers. She moaned softly at the contact. His warm flesh underneath her palms, calling forth and answering in her own body. A fever hotter than a thousand suns making her blood boil and heat curl in her belly only to settle between her thighs.

No matter how many times they had done this, it always felt as if it were the first time. The way that he handled her with such gentle care, handled her with such finesse and passion. But a cold chill ran over her suddenly, she remembered Albert's last words before they left…he had recalculated her time since the muscle aches had begun. He said six months, then two, now she had only but a month to live. It was like a bucket of ice water to her strained libido. Vincent noticed the change in her quickly and slowly met her eyes.

"What is it?"

"I should've told you, but I didn't know how, I still don't know how."

"Told me what, honey?" His eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion.

"Al recalculated my time before we left…I don't have two months, I only have a month."

Tears fell down her cheeks as she turned away from him and he prevented the action by turning her face back towards his and keeping her tear-filled gaze locked with his silver-blue eyes.

"I will always be with you, no matter what you decide to do, I will not leave you. Do you understand?"

She nodded and buried her face in his chest, her tears trailing down the smooth skin to fall to the sheets below. Both of them half-naked kneeling on the satin surface of expensive sheets sharing the grief and joy…they soon shed the rest of their clothes and made love slowly as the setting suns light bathed the room in an orange glow, his skin burned slightly from the exposure, but he brushed it aside to share this moment with her. It was time for a new beginning and he wasn't going to waste any of his time.


	11. Eleven

A/N: It is winding down to the last few chapters now, I will post the next one in a few days, then the epilogue. I'm glad that you've all been enjoying this story and now that this one is out of the way I can get to working on my next book in this series. I hope that even though it's not going to be a full CSI verse story that you will read and enjoy it anyway. I know I've probably cut this story a tad short, but I didn't want to drag it out either and I do believe I've covered all the important pieces. Enjoy.

WG

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

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Eleven

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**The Journal of Vincent Rhodock III**

_"Her news does not sway me in the least; the burns on my back are a testament to that. The scalding will not last as long as the pain in my heart will soon enough. It has been days since that encounter and we've been to so many places in Paris over these few days. She continues to grow weaker under my gaze as we travel during the night. The moon and stars our only light as we walk the uncrowned streets until dawns early light. It was just this morning that I viewed my very first sunrise, the glow temporarily blinding me and my sensitive vision and Vivian had to guide me back to our quarters. But it was worth it just to see the smile on her face for that brief moment before my vision was completely obliterated. My eyes still sting, but the pain is a welcomed one that I will never forget since it carries so many good memories." _

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She leaned over him with warm water and a wash cloth, tears streaming down her face, her head hung in shame. The blisters on his back were so severe that she thought he wouldn't recover from them. Red as a rose in full bloom and as angry like pustules from the plague. Black and charred in some places and blue with bruises in others. Vivian had to admire his bravery, his dedication, and his love. No other man had ever done any of the things for her that he had done. They all wanted to bed her.

"Why do you cry?"

"Because it is my fault that you are burned." Vivian sniffled softly as she dunked the rag again and rung it out, a light pink sheen coating its surface.

"I am the one who decided to follow you into the sun; I alone will carry that burden on my flesh." He turned to face her, clasping her hand in his own. "You are not to blame. You are in pain; you are suffering emotionally and physically. Let me ease your burden for the time that you have left."

"You have given me so much in these past few months, more than anyone has given me in my life. The fact that it has to end now beyond any of our control is like a slap in the face. Many people take life and love for granted using it and throwing it away like used garments or uneaten food. But now when **I **have the one thing I want the most I cannot have it. I cannot be like those other people who get to live their lives with the ones they love." She placed her face in the crook of his shoulder and hot tears started to cascade down his back. He welcomed the sting as the salt collided with his burns, the heat giving him some of her pain. "It is not what I wish…"

"You can cry as long as you need to, cry for what you will lose, for what you will miss. I will be with you, love you, cherish you, and be faithful to you for the rest of my immortal life and I swear to you that we shall meet again one day, soul to soul."

"But how will you know?" She looked at him, her eyes red rimmed with tears streaking down her cheeks. The honey-brown hue of her eyes combining with the light in the room from several candles.

"The soul never forgets its true mate. My soul will call to yours when I find you." He placed a hand over her heart. "I will always find you, Vivian Ross, no matter your name. And your soul will always find mine."

Her lips found his swiftly as she pulled him atop her, her shift riding up around her waist exposing her curls, moist and glistening with her juices. It had been a few days since their last encounter and there were going to be no more interruptions. He eased her down and shed his trousers and her shift. Enjoying the feel of her gentle touches on his back slowly healing as he gently licked and teased at her neck. She moaned at the sensation and he groaned in return. Her scent wafted up and he heaved a growl and connected his eyes with hers. His fingers gently sifted through her hair as he used his other hand to gently separate her thighs so he could lie between them.

"It has been so long that I don't think I can tease either of us." He sighed against her lips as he gently slid himself against her folds.

"Then don't make us wait and just give us what we both need in this moment. We can take it slow next time."

With those words he eased into her and started a slow rhythm, gathering himself up on his hands and pumping into her with the force of his lower body. She clutched at him as he churned above her, enjoying his weight and power, his strength and heat. She loved the way he filled her and the chuffs of breath that he let out as he increased pressure and pace.

"Faster." She groaned as the friction wasn't enough for her. She wanted pleasure over pain, the power to forget that she was mortal and he was practically immortal. Vivian wanted them just to be frozen in a moment where no one could tell them anything. They could just live.

His pace increased and so did his weight atop her. He shifted to his elbows and kissed her gently, his fangs nipping softly at her lips, his eyes glowing silver like the full moon. She'd stirred his passion as he'd stirred hers. "Bite me."

"Not yet." He moaned. "Just a little longer."

"Don't want to wait, need you. Need all of you!" She rolled him onto his back and he let her as she picked up the pace and bit his neck roughly. His body went into spasm as he orgasmed in a hot rush. Filling her with all he had and so much more.

"My GOD woman…" He huffed as he latched onto her neck in response, feeling her muscles contract around him as he rolled them once again so that he was on top, licking the wounds closed and starting another rhythm anew with a roll of his hips and a grind into her pelvic bone. Her mewling cry was his answer as he shifted up on his knees and rolled into her. Her legs on either side of his thighs latching on, his angle of penetration changing to deeper, caressing her walls with his thickness, bottoming out against her cervix.

"Yes, don't hold back…" Her breath came in harsh pants. "Please don't hold back."

"Vivian…"

"…Everything you are…please…"

"You are the light in my darkness, Vivian. The eternal sun, the one and only for my heart. I live, breathe, and exist only for you."

"And I for you."

Together they collapsed against the sheets and let sleep overcome them.

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"We can't leave this place, the master…" One of the servants started to argue while following Ben around. He was cleaning up the remainder of the master quarters when the young man arrived.

"I am the master now, his life has always been forfeit. Maybe now we shall finally have the results we often seek without restriction." He rubbed his hands together with a soft chuckle. "This place will be sold and a new haven will be found. I am not going to stand idly by while this place is a well known location."

"But…"

Ben came face to face with the man, his eyes boring into his. "You will do as you are told, is that not clear?"

"Yes, sire. When do we make arrangements?" He choked out his answer.

"As soon as possible."

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Vincent sighed as he felt her lean against his back while he stroked the fire in the hearth. They'd covered a lot of distance and now it was a time for rest. He could sense her unease and it made him sigh softly and get lost in thought. The moons glow cast lovely ivory shadows across the floor, her pale skin bathed in that glow as she drew forward and sat on his lap.

"You are warm with fever dearest, why are you not in bed?" He kissed her cheek gently and settled her atop him.

"Because you're not there." She sighed. "Why?"

"I came out here to stroke the fire and make sure that it does not dwindle. It is chilly tonight." He met his eyes with hers. "I was going to return."

"I was cold." Her teeth rattled as she shivered.

"It's the fever, my dear." He sighed and lifted her into his arms. "Come, let's go back to bed."

"I want you to be honest with me." She spoke suddenly.

"I am always honest with you." He placed her beneath the covers and scooted in beside her, shielding her body with his own.

"Are you happy?"

"Of course I am, why do you ask?"

"Because I'm not going to be around much longer." She sighed. "I don't know why you'd waste…"

Vincent pressed his fingertips against her lips to silence her. "I will not allow you to finish that sentence. I am not wasting my time with you. Yes, you may be getting ready to move on, but I am here willingly. I chose you because I love you." He pressed his lips to hers. "I will not leave you to suffer alone; I will not turn my back on you. There will be no more talk of this."

"But…"

"No, Vivian. Sleep now."

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"What do you suppose he's doing right now?" John asked Marie as they cuddled together on the king size bed.

"I do not know, but I have a feeling that we will be expecting him soon. I just hope that he is not driven to madness."

"You and I can both agree on that."

"What plans does Edgar have for the situation?" She asked suddenly while trailing a hand on his chest.

"He says we are to welcome him back and accept that he will have some memory loss. We are to treat him as if none of these events ever happened and if he doesn't choose a mate before his birthday we are to release him."

"It sounds harsh." She sighed.

"A vampire who has lost a mortal love is one with a pain so great that it even blinds me to fathom just what Vincent with experience with her passing. I can not even begin to imagine how his mind will shut down and he will come to us not remembering why he left. It is why we are not to take on mortal lovers."

Marie sighed and burrowed further into his side. "I just hope that he isn't like the others."

"I hope not either, but if he is we can only do what is required of us and nothing more. No matter how hard it is to keep that secret from him, we cannot risk him becoming even more unstable."


	12. Twelve

A/N: It is winding down to the last few chapters now, I will post the next one in a few days, then the epilogue. I'm glad that you've all been enjoying this story and now that this one is out of the way I can get to working on my next book in this series. I hope that even though it's not going to be a full CSI verse story that you will read and enjoy it anyway. I know I've probably cut this story a tad short, but I didn't want to drag it out either and I do believe I've covered all the important pieces. Enjoy.

WG

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

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Twelve

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**The Journal of Vivian Ross**

_"I feel inadequate right now, so very pathetic and pitiful. I am frustrated, tired, angry, and disturbed. Out of all the ways I thought my life would end, I'd have never pictured it like this. I love him, but I hate to always look in his eyes and see everything he's ever felt in those silver-blue pools. I don't deserve the man who is watching over me right now. A man who has lived almost a century, a man who will live centuries more without me. Was I selfish to want to feel something everyone needs? I cannot say, but I do feel guilty in a small way for letting him. A part of me wishes that train had never been delayed and I would've been able to leave this behind and help him move on. _

_Now I sit here in this rocking chair burning with fever, slicked with sweat, and numb from the inside out as one by one my bodily functions start to shut down. I fear that this will be my last entry since I can barely write. I just hope that when it does happen, there will be little pain. I think that I've had enough of that in my life." _

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"You need to eat something, sweetheart." Vincent tried for the third time and she turned away from him once more.

"I'm not hungry." She sighed. "I can't eat anymore; I can't even get up on my own to relieve myself. Why on God's green Earth do you want to be tied down to me?"

"Please, honey." His eyes connected with hers. "You are no burden to me."

"Cut the shit." His eyes widened with her forcefulness. "You have no obligation to take care of me. Why don't you just go?"

"Because it's not what either of us want." He sighed. "I am here because I chose to be. You do not want to be alone. I know that you are angry with the world for wanting to split us apart so urgently, I am unhappy with that decision as well. However, even as I am angry, I have made peace with it because I know in my heart I will find you again."

"The universe is beyond our control. Life and death are not simple, Vincent. You cannot be sure about what will happen to me in the next life, even if I have one."

"You will, Vivian, because my soul is still here. And you will continue to do so until I can make you stay until my final breath."

"And how long will that be? Five centuries? Ten? I doubt that you'd be able to keep me for that long. Not even your blood can work that kind of a miracle."

He dipped a rag into a basin of water and wiped the sweat from her brow. "Miracles do happen."

"If that were so, we wouldn't be in this situation right now." She huffed with a cough. "I would still be able to be with you. If there was a miracle, it would be that your blood would be able to cure me. However, the only thing it's been confirmed to do is kill me quicker. I have come to face the fact that I've never been a normal human being. I was cursed with a cancer from day one I was born."

He held her chin in between his fingertips, his eyes flashing silver in the candle lit room. "Enough, Vivian. I have excused your words because you are ill, but no more. You will not be rid of me, do you understand?"

His gaze continued to penetrate her as she bowed her head and relented with a sigh, violent coughing followed as he eased her off her back and aided her breathing. It would only be days now as the pain in her chest signaled the final stages.

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Rain pelted against the ground as he looked upon the wooden casket, there was a reason he was here, he just couldn't place it. He wondered why he'd left, wondered why he'd been crying. It was as if something was missing in his life that he couldn't get back. Nightmares clouded his vision of a brown-haired angel wracked with sickness.

_XX_

_"I can't expect you to watch me suffer, it would be unfair." She gasped, her eyes dull with pain as she clutched her chest. "Tell them to burry me here in Paris." _

_"It will be done, you have my word." His hand clutched hers as she turned her head to the side and vomited clear liquid, acid and mucus, then dry heaves. Then blood…red and rich like wine. Her fingernails dug into his hand as she took her final breaths. _

_It was then that the rain started to fall as she went limp, blood stained her lips, her head lolled to the side, streaks of red staining the pillow. Thunder crackled in the distance as his head rested against her stomach silently willing her to breathe, but it would not be so. _

_XX_

He recalled the moments after when he saw her lying there, recalled the force in which he threw the chair he'd been sitting in against the wall and watching the wood splinter and shatter, remembered the feel of her chestnut strands sliding in between his fingers.

Now he stands with a hole in his heart, his soul, lifeless and covered with rain watching the casket being lowered into the dirt by one of the beautiful Paris cathedrals. It was time to go home.

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	13. Epilogue

A/N: And now the final chapter to this long and sad story, I have enjoyed writing this series so much and I really hope that I don't have to cancel the last two books I have planned, but honestly I have been suffering burn outs quite a bit lately and it's just getting harder and harder. I also fear that no one will read them since they are not going to be completely settled in the CSI universe...I may just scrap the one book and complete the other, it really is not my intention to do so, but I might just have to. I'd like to thank everyone that has read/reviewed/PM'd/and favorited this story, thanks to all!

The WolvGambit

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI

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Epilogue

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The sun stretched across the horizon as he looked up at the statue of Liberty. He'd been traveling all across the world, living, learning, remembering and forgetting. A woman continuously haunted his dreams and he wished he could find out why. Life, so often kind to him, was now being cruel.

As the ship came to port, he looked at the hustle and bustle of the city full of life and took a deep breath. It was time to start a new. Edgar had been kind to him, but no one would tell him if what he dreamed was fact or fiction. His journal was full of detailed sketches and countless entries of his dreams. Something wasn't right, and he knew then and there he'd have to get to the bottom of it on his own.

_It's time to face the music,_

_Nothing lasts forever,_

_But I will keep my promise,_

_I will find you once again. _

-END


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